21: The Movie

*** Stars

I watched the History Channel documentary Breaking Vegas last year with my roommate in college. It was a few hours long and it was totally addicting. The story about six M.I.T taking down Vegas and making millions is certainly a pitch-perfect idea for a Hollywood film. LOOSELY based on Ben Mezrich's Bringing Down The House, 21 is flashy non-rhetoric entertainment. High-class, yet lacking substance, it holds the cards on the table long enough for us to be interested. Good Movie. Cool Movie.

The story revolves around the smartest card player of the six. Ben Campbell (Jim Sturgess, you'll probably recognize him from Across the Universe) is a brilliant student, top of his class at M.I.T. He has been offered to attend Harvard for graduate school, a wonderful honor, but at the price of over $300,000. To earn the cash, he is pushed to join an underground blackjack team, who heads to Vegas on the weekends to count cards and take down the most profitable and powerful casinos in the world. See what kids have to do to pay for school? Kevin Spacey plays Micky Rosa, the leader and coach of the team. Using codes, signals, and simple math, he manages to bring his team a fortune.

Let it be clear, counting cards is not illegal, but it is extremely frowned upon. If caught, one is thrown out of the casino and never allowed back again. In 21, they kick the asses of any of those caught, literally. Ben gets in way over his head, with night clubs, high-rollers, and the seduction of his beautiful teammate Jill Taylor (the smart and sexiness of Kate Bosworth). Through time, he learns the reality of limits, commitments, and the rules of reciprocation. Laurence Fishburne plays the casino security boss who focuses on one thing, to take them down.

Breaking Vegas is a much more in-debt study of this story. These players actually travel all across the globe, counting cards and disguising their identities. 21 focuses on Vegas, with a little too much glamor. Players practicing this trade are not greeted by bouncers and club owners publicly, as they do want to draw attention to themselves. The film has to use this because the plot's eye is fixed on entertainment. I wish the film had the strength to dig up more contingent dirt, rather than basking in the Ocean of George Clooney's slick eleven. Good thing I love that eleven.

Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who!

*** Stars

Horton Hears a Who! is not really meant to be a feature length film. In fact, it feels like a cousin to the 1966 classic Grinch tale, which had a 26-minute running time. Horton runs at 88-minutes, longer than intended, but short enough to avoid checking your watch.

The story is sweet and simple. A very lovable elephant named Horton (a wonderfully restrained Jim Carrey) finds a spec attached to a flower in the heart of a nameless jungle. The spec is in fact a world of its own, the town of Whoville. The Mayor (voiced by Steve Carell) cannot believe that there is something bigger outside of their world. The problem lies in the severe climate changes the small town is witnessing. If it continues, their world may come to an end. Horton, being the nice guy he is, says that "a person's a person, no matter how small." He makes the journey to the top of a mountain to make sure the town is never bothered again.

I really don't have a lot to say about Horton. It's a short story that will thrill children and satisfy adults. It relies on slapstick when it runs out of ideas, but it still manages to conclude before you turn against Horton and the Mayor. The classic tale by Dr. Seuss is rendered into flashy animation and voiced with the class and energy Carrey and Carell are famous for.

Semi-Pro

**1/2 Stars

Semi-Pro opened at #1 with 15.1 million. The headline on Yahoo Movies said it was a bomb at the box-office. Although it didn't make the $20 million that was expected, is Hollywood so greedy that it is ready to call a mild No. 1 opening a bomb? Who writes those things anyway? I'll say it was a mild successful failure for Will Farrell.

That's also the outcome of the film. The studio made a very smart move by making it a R-rated comedy rather than a friendly PG-13. Why? Because they realized without some harsh humor, they would have absolutely no movie. The best parts of Semi-Pro is its ability to be bawdy as hell in order to cover up the films other mishaps. Without Will Farrell, the movie would be heading for disaster. Who else could really pull of a fictitious 70's owner-promoter-player-coach named Jackie Moon better than Farrell? It feels like an SNL character but with the ability to curse on the air.

The Flint Michigan Tropics of the American Basketball Association (ABA) are heading towards extinction. Jackie Moon, the once pop-star with his #1 hit "Love Me Sexy" is a great promoter to his hometown, but is still living in the past as a one hit wonder. However, the commissioner explains that the ABA is collapsing and only the top four teams from the league will join the NBA. The Tropics, stereotypically in last place, has to find a way to make it to the top to save the franchise. In a desperate move, Jackie Moon trades away the team's washing machine for a once champion benchwarmer named Monix (Woody Harrelson). Jackie Moon will do everything in his power to save Jackie Moon and the Flint Michigan tropics.

The best parts of the movie is where first time director Kent Alterman lets Farrell and the gang play off each other in an uncensored way, managing nonlethargic dialogue. It doesn't reach the heights of Anchorman, but it stays close to Farrell's other sports flicks (Blades of Glory and Talladega Nights). The **1/2 star rating only means that if fails to capsize its R-rating, coming short of a comedy classic.

Jumper

* Star

Messier than a bedpan, with more holes than the children's novel Holes, it's a bird! It's a plane! It's...a movie about some dude who can teleport anywhere at any time being chased by a white-haired Samuel L. Jackson.


With a tagline saying "Anywhere is Possible," Jumper hypocritically goes nowhere exciting nor inventive with an actual cool premise for a movie. It seemed the crew (and especially the talented director Doug Liman) gave up when they cast Hayden Christensen as the lead (a low-blow I know, but am I wrong?). Now I expected this to be bad, but I was wishing for a fun throw-popcorn-at-the-screen-with-your-friends flick, but instead my eyes came heavy and irritated. The screenplay seemed to be written by a fifteen year old who was pissed at bullies for teasing him. Why? Because when David Rice (Christensen) is at age fifteen or so and is being picked on, he magically teleports to different places at anytime. Hayden Christensen narrates that it was time for him to get out of there. Out of where? It is natural to get picked on in High School and if a student needs to leave everything he knows, then so be it. For the start, we learn that Rice is a coward, by using his powers to escape his problems and to secretly rob banks. Why not help his country? He would be an amazing asset to the military. Oh wait, I forgot, he is a coward.

Years later, Christensen plays himself, with Rachel Bilson as his love interest, playing herself, with Samuel L. Jackson chasing them, playing himself. Rice discovers this gift has existed for centuries. After finding out he is not the only one, he is sucked into a war that has been continuing for thousands of years between "Jumpers" and those like Samuel L. Jackson who have been sworn to kill him. It is an annoying experience, filled with bloated action cliches and a premise wasted by the safety of assuring a #1 spot at the box-office.

Meet the Spartans

0 Stars

You know what's sad? Half these jokes in Meet the Spartans were used in my seventh grade filmmaking stage. So does that mean I could have had the #1 film in America at the age of twelve? Yes, Meet the Spartans, another tired spoof about pop culture is #1 again with 18.5$ million.

What's even sadder is that the cast & crew aren't even trying, by recycling jokes that are sixth months past its mediocre stage of reference. Meet the Spartans is the equivalent of 300 on the cover of Star Magazine meaning that no one really gives a rat's ass about you're story. Leave the freaking film alone.

Note: If you haven't seen 300 and you're really want to see this (please e-mail with reasons so I can understand why the film was made) then you are going to have no idea what's going on. If you have seen 300 and didn't like it, then you will hate the films concept. And if you have seen 300 and loved it, you will be tortured with its dreadful remorse of its joke. So my point again, there will be no satisfying outcome for any viewer.

Here is Meet the Spartans in a nutshell: it's everything you hate about American society and everything you hate about television. Then they charge you ten bucks to see it.

Rambo

**1/2 Stars

The theory that seeing a movie in a theater can make it a better experience is absolutely true when seeing the fourth installment of the Rambo franchise. Not only did I get to see one of the most ridiculous action films of this decade, I got to witness the most ridiculous, hilarious, and unforgettable trailer in recent memory. I won't tell you the title because that is half the fun but to witness it, click here.

Ok, back to Rambo. Now Sylvester Stallone is in his sixties and is in better shape than half the people my age. It is true he has taken steroids to prepare himself for the role. But hey, the guy is not an athlete in any major sport and he has to look jacked to pull of this tough-guy persona. So I say, why the hell not? Let the guy do his thing.

For the record, the film itself is quite terrible. The plot is weak, the acting is sub-par, and the torture in this film is horribly disturbing. But Stallone knows his audience. An action junkie is looking for ninety minutes of pure adrenaline, loaded with the most violent kills a film has to offer. So did I have a good time? Sure. Can I recommend it? Well, I won't discourage you from seeing it, but I can't really make you see this film unless you are simply a Rambo action junkie.

Vietnam vet John Rambo has been secluded from the outside world for decades. He lives quietly in Thailand after his past ordeals with his old Colonel Samuel Trautman (played by Richard Crenna in the first three films, he is absent here) and is trying to forget the things he has done. Violence always seems to come back to John no matter what situation he gets in. When a Christian group from America come to try and help the refugees of the territory of Burma, they ask Rambo to guide them to their village. Known as the Karen people, they have been tortured by the Burmese military and struggle just to survive every day. Rambo excepts the job to take them by boat to the land.

So when the missionaries arrive at the village, they themselves are captured and a group of American soldiers (who just happen to be close enough to the area in time to save them) go on a rescue mission and they need John Rambo to take them. From there, the action takes over and your brain goes right out the window.

It takes skill to create these slick action sequences. In fact, the best part of the movie has almost no violence. When the Americans and Rambo arrive at the camp, their entrance is at night, as they secretly sway through the guards to those captured. The scene is taut and tightly put together. But once they are rescued, Stallone goes for the over-the-top violence where when someone is shot by a bullet, they are forcefully flown into the air with their carcass spread all over the screen. A treat for the eyes of a fourteen year old and a death wish for everyone who has a fourteen year-old child.

Untraceable

** Stars

Untraceable is the definition of hypocrisy on the front page of Hypocrisy For Dummies (If there really is a book called that, you can sue me for copyright infringement). The message Untraceable tries to tell us is that our internet world is filled with disturbing psychos who are entertained by torture porn. Let's bring back Danny Glover from my Shooter review...His answer would be, really?

So where does the hypocrisy lie in all this? Well Untraceable wants to help send a message to viewers that you should be careful about the internet and who’s out there. So the first thing it does is it creates a site that shows a human being killed based on the number of hits it receives. It graphically shows a victim being tortured numerous times in ways that would make Water-Torture look like a slip-n-slide. I guess it's acceptable to make a movie to show the evidence and then play with the carcasses.

The cast deserves better material than this. Diane Lane turns in a solid paycheck playing Jennifer Marsh, a secret service agent caught up in an internet cat-and-mouse game with a killer who starts an internet site tapping into the dark fetishes of perverted people (which apparently is torture-porn). The killer starts a site where people are tortured and killed live on the site killwithme.com for the whole world to see. The catch? The more that log on to the site, the faster the victim dies. In some scenes, Untraceable has the counter on the site splurging past twenty-five million people and counting. That means twenty-five times the state I'm from (New Hampshire) is getting off to this site. Look, I understand what the film is trying to say, but it doesn't need to rub it in my face.

When the film isn't on the internet, it has its chance to be an intelligent thriller. Some scenes are tightly put together, especially with the relationship between Marsh and her co-worker Griffin Dowd, played by the underrated Colin Hanks (when is this guy going to get his big break?) Dowd is set up as a cliche, with his inability to get girls and meets girls online. But the film actually has an ironic twist with his character when the killer finds out who Marsh and Dowd are, but it only comes out to another scene of torture porn. I will give you a synopsis of what they use for torture porn in one sentence: Someone gets soaked in a pool of battery acid and you slowly watch him dissolve into a sulfuric being. It's just lovely. So with the help of Detective Eric Box (Billy Burke), Dowd, and the rest of her FBI team, Marsh tries to stop this killer before he hurts the people she loves.

The film had its chances to scare the audience, but it falls back on graphic violence. The thought of something happening is much scarier than actually showing it to us because the imagination of the brain is uncontrollable. If this is the kind of material people want on the internet, then I guess my site will never become popular.

Cloverfield

*** Stars

It is so refreshing to see a movie event in January. The hype of J.J Abrams 1-18-08 project was absolutely astounding, with its brilliant trailer and the YouTube crowd flocking about sites trying to figure out what the hell is attacking New York City. And if you think seeing the film is the answer, you may be surprised to see that you won't get it. I've seen it twice and I still have no idea what Cloverfield means, but thats the smarts of it. It is just footage of something that would happen if our society was attacked by something. This is The Blair Witch Project and Godzilla, wrapped up and sold on YouTube. I was pulled in.

It's kind of a groundbreaking approach to moviemaking. Take all unknown actors, throw them in a setting every young adult knows (boozing, relationship issues, and parties) and then get attacked by a monster, all shot from a home video. All the actors give appropriately forgettable performances, as anyone would on a home-video. The production cost was only $25 million, which is amazing because it all looks so real. It grossed $46 million in its first weekend and has given audiences hope that theres more to January films then One Missed Call.


So what does the word Cloverfield mean? Well the film begins with a military code named CLOVERFIELD that shows the footage of what happened that night. Director Matt Reeves and Producer J.J Abrams won't explain the significance, which makes their marketing campaign brilliant. The tagline could have been, "Who wants to see what would happen to you if this happened?"...with the statue of liberty missing its head. The film makes us believe that it could happen to anyone and it pulls that off very well.

Ok, so there is a reason why haven't mentioned any plot points yet in my review. The reason is because there is no plot. No characters are really introduced and there is no structure towards a story. Try not to read to much into it because there's really nothing to read. It's a movie for those who like to look at the pictures and ignore the article. The films only foundation is a group of people who go to a party, get drunk, and then run away from a monster. Are they just hallucinating? Do they think this is a joke? Are they going to wake up with a hangover and pretend that it was just another wild night? Does the rest of the world survive? Do they ever kill the monster? Is the president safe? Where did this THING come from? These questions prove the film did its job. It's not a movie, only an experience. I only wished they kept the title 1-18-08, and then have the event occur on 1-18-08, which would have made it the first film title to be named after its release date and for it to ironically occur in real time.

There Will Be Blood

***1/2 Stars

There Will Be Blood is soaked with the obscurity of Daniel Day Lewis's character, which is sort of the point. Beneath the surface, this character is so desperate and greedy for oil that he will give up anything to succeed in the industry, even his adopted son.

So what's the film trying to tell us? Well I guess that nothing has changed since the turn of the nineteenth century and we are still dependent on oil. You would think an alternate fuel would be invented even before a thought of landing on the moon, but I guess no matter what technology we build, some things don't change. For another example, we have the scientific ability to transform a human heart, but no set-and-stone cure for the common cold.

Daniel Day-Lewis's performance is a revelation, one of the best you'll see all year. He may only make a handful of movies a decade but he is still one of the most mesmerizing actors in the film industry (check out him as Bill the Butcher in Scorsese's Gangs of New York and try to sleep that one off). He plays Daniel Plainview, a silver digger turned oil tycoon in just under a decade. The film begins with basically no dialogue for twenty minutes. It is scary in its own haunting way, watching Plainview dig for silver in the New Mexico wilderness. He breaks his leg but finds an ocean of oil under him in the process. He hires a crew and takes them to the site to dig it up. One man who dies had an infant son who is adopted by Plainview. Nine years later, Plainview becomes moderately successful in the industry and he and his adopted son H.W travel to a ranch to find another ocean of money with the information coming from a young man named Paul Sunday(a powerful Paul Dano). Plainview checks out the area and agrees to dig there. Paul's twin brother Eli tells him that a $10,000 donation to Eli's church must be granted if he digs here. Plainview agrees.

Now the film wants you to believe that Paul and Eli are different people, but we never see them together and both are literally 100% identical in both appearance and the tone of their voices. So I conclude that they (I mean he) is up to something.

Plainview is an excellent speaker and he doesn't even know it. His speech to the Sunday Ranch is very convincing, giving false hope to the residents that this oil will bring them all fortune. In the first steps of his plan, things begin to go smoothly, but director Paul Thomas Anderson knows that the story needs to end in tragedy. Plainview begins to question everyone he meets and will go to the lengths of killing men to sustain his thirst for sovereignty.

In order to understand Daniel Plainview's motives, it is important to realize that he hates all men, hates everything about them, and will do anything to make sure only he succeeds and everyone else fails. With this philosophy, it is hard to believe that you don't hate yourself in the process, which Plainview will understand later on in the film.

I've seen this film twice now and I'm still having a hard time with the foundation of the plot. It is loosely based on Upton Sinclair's 1927 novel Oil!, but in a Paul Thomas Anderson film it is always hard to determine what is actually occurring on screen. For me, There Will Be Blood is some sort of apocalyptic theory that foreshadows the worlds downfall with its obsession of greed, even though this takes place almost one-hundred years prior to present day. I guess the only problem I have with There Will Be Blood is that Plainview is a hard man to care about because he has nothing to lose. He has no loved-ones, no friends, and no regrets about his past. So when his tragic downfall occurs, I had a hard time feeling for his character. If you can ignore that, you will see that this is Daniel Day-Lewis's show, managing to capture the poignant evil of this man as he slowly meets his demise. The film runs long (almost three hours) but it is important that it feels long because it takes infinite moments for a story like this to settle in an ocean of greed, in this case one that lasts a lifetime.

Atonement

**** Stars

When it comes to critiquing films, I usually post a review the same day or night I see the movie just to make sure certain plot points and dialogue are still fresh in my mind. But after seeing Joe Wright's adaptation of the Ian McEwan novel, I felt uncertain about how I felt towards Atonement. It left me sad, distraught, and confused. It made me question the very existence of love. So I tested my patience. Day after day, its presence is frequently gandering inside my mind and I can't shake it off. Atonement is the antonym of Disney's Enchanted where not every story ends happily ever after. This is a tragedy on the highest accord.

Unfortunately, I was actually in the middle of the book when I saw the film version. I wanted to finish the book first, but I didn't want to risk missing it before it left the theaters. This seems to be one of the most talked about films of the season. It now has been nominated for seven Oscars, even with Wright being snubbed for best director. James McAvoy and Keira Knightley are both wonderfully cast as Robbie Turner and Cecilia Tallis, two young adults who forge a secret passion towards eachother, in which suffer dire consequences.

The film begins in 1935 England, with Cecilia and her family lounging around their enormous mansion that is so clean and elegant, that it is sometimes painful to see. Cecilia's thirteen year-old sister Briony Tallis (Saoirse Ronan, who deserves her Oscar nomination) who like any other thirteen year-old, wants the attention completely on her. Her room is as clean as a room can get, with her toys lined up, her bed perfectly made, and a feeling that if a toy fell out of place, she would weep in self-dissapointment. I would personally go mad in a house like this.

So when you're young, rich, and have nothing to do all day, it would seem pretty easy for you're imagination to become reality, right? Briony, who has a secret crush on Robbie, begins to notice a spark between him and Cecilia. Before dinner, Robbie wants to write Cecilia a letter to express his feelings. As he goes through several copies, he writes one for a self pleasure (what he really wants to do to her). When writing the novel, McEwan needed something to stand out. What word would totally confuse and scare a thirteen year old? Well, Robbie's letter is sexual, with the word "c**t" bulging off the page. He accidentally delivers that letter to Cecilia, with Briony as the messenger.

Briony opens the letter and sees this word. She doesn't really understand it, but she thinks she does. Later that evening, she hands the letter to Cecilia. While Cecilia is offended, she can't help but resist a love that has been dwindling in her mind. Her and Robbie sneak off to a room in the house and passionately make love, until Briony walks in.

Now after seeing this letter and witnessing this event, Briony wants Robbie out of Cecilia's life. So when their cousin is raped that night by a house-guest, it is Briony's chance to make sure Cecilia doesn't get with him. She falsely-accuses Robbie as the rapist. Robbie is sent to jail, then the army. Before he leaves, the two declare their love for eachother (Cecilia knows he didn't do it, she and Robbie know that Briony lied). For the rest of her life, Briony is forced to live with this event gorged in the very front of her mind. Her act of atonement forces the three to live their life in tragedy.

Joe Wright's direction here is simply superb. In a five minute and thirty second tracking shot, Wright captures the horror of World War II, when Robbie walks through a battlefield of limbs, death, and destruction. The shot is in the caliber of Orson Welles, with such shots as the famous opening in Touch of Evil.

Atonement is an epic love story with the same level of tragedy as Titanic. Two people, meant for eachother, are forced to live out their love in ways no one should. But the power of love is so esoteric and essential to a humans heart, in this case a heart stripped of its right to warm another.

Into The Wild

**** Stars

There are trips to the movies, and then there are movie experiences. Into the Wild's journey is so moving and philosophical that it made me feel in places I didn't know existed. The story of Christopher McCandless is the shadow of a life that I would have if I told the establishment to go to hell. I have had this strong sense of rebellion this year towards the status-quo and McCandless lived out a very deep and distant fantasy of mine.

Emile Hirsch gives the best performance of his young career as the promising twenty-two year old college graduate who gave all his money to charity and literally went into the wild in search of something adventurous. His journey transformed him into an iconic figure for the people he met, bordering an image of a spiritual being. Catherine Keener, Vince Vaughn, and Hal Holbrook are part of the great supporting cast who look at the magic Hirsch's character has brought in their lives. Hal Holbrook as Ron Franz especially, brings such beautiful emotion to the scenes he shares with Hirsch, especially when Chris convinces Ron to prove to himself he can climb a steep hill. The scene brought a hopeful smile I couldn't shake off until the heartbreaking finale, where Chris's journey ends on a tragic note.

Chris McCandless's life ended August 18th, 1992 after accidentally eating a Hedysarum alpinum toxic plant which makes a person unable to swallow therefore causing him to starve. After his death there were Moose hunters who found a devastating note left by Chris in the wilderness of Alaska.

"S.O.S I need your help. I am injured, near death, and too weak to hike out of here. I am all alone, this is no joke. In the name of God, please remain to save me. I am out collecting berries close by and shall return this evening. Thank you, Chris McCandless. August?"

The message of the film brings into question the very reason why humans exist. Is today's society crippling the freedom past generations have so aptly endured? Does any young man have the will power to leave behind a promising life and live out a journey of absolute freedom? Into The Wild, directed with such beauty by Sean Penn brings us an experience you may not understand, but certainly one you won't forget.

Juno

**** Stars

Juno is a reason why they invented movies. The second its over, you feel like hugging yourself and everyone around you, and then watching the film again. I fell in love with this film and Ellen Page in the very first scene.

Ellen Page not only plays Juno Macguff, she is Juno Macguff, the lovely sixteen year old girl whose future is about to change drastically when she discovers that she is knocked up (And don't worry, this is not Judd Apatow's Knocked Up, this is something different and a bit more magical.) She discovers that the father is her best friend Paulie Bleeker (a perfectly cast Michael Cera, from Superbad and Arrested Development fame) who runs with his track team every day and eat more tic-tacs then any human should. Both seem to be secretly in love with eachother, they just don't know what to do with it yet.

When Juno tells her father and stepmother (J.K Simmons and Allison Janney) about her pregnancy, they take it in a more refreshing way then the status-quo would have you believe. Of course they're surprised and disappointed, but instead of throwing Juno in her room until the end of her days, they discuss it with her and realize that she needs them to be there or else she won't get through this. Even though I have never been in any situation like Juno and Paulie, I can relate to them so much that it made me shake. They both have to live with the problems teenagers can potentially face during their high school years. Should Paulie's family find out about this even though Juno is going to be putting the child up for adoption? Can something this devastating shed some good in the world? Well Juno thinks so. She wants to give her child to a couple in desperate hope for a baby.

Jennifer Gardner is wonderful as Vanessa, a born-to-be mother ready to take on the beauty of Juno's child. Her husband Mark (Jason Bateman) is a composer who shares many interests with Juno. The film could have taken a turn for the worse involving the characters of Juno and Mark (I think you know what I mean by that), but instead the screenwriter Diablo Cody brings us to a point in the story we didn't see coming: everything we basically expected, but in a beautiful and poetic way. The last frame of this film will have you crying with happiness.

I want to talk more about Diablo Cody. This is her first screenplay, and she wrote it while getting naked for men in a Minneapolis strip club. Her real name is Brook Busey, but she ditched the name and kind of told the establishment to go to hell. Now, she has serious Oscar buzz for Juno's screenplay and already has Steven Spielberg calling her for work. Because of this writer's strike, Cody is getting the best deals of her life with basically no competition.

Director Jason Reitman seems to know exactly how to handle material like this. It seems that the Thank You For Smoking director is not a one hit wonder. Even though Juno is fourth on my top ten list, it is one of my favorite films of the decade. I have a strong feeling that it will grow on me more and more each day I think about it. It reminds me to continue towards my dream the way Diablo Cody did and never give in to something I don't believe in. Juno is destined to become an iconic teenage movie character. I am three years older than her and I look up to her more than most adults. I hope this film makes the careers of Ellen Page and Michael Cera, who should realize that 2007 is their year to shine.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets

*** Stars

When National Treasure came out in 2004, I found it as a guilty pleasure. I still put on the DVD when I need a film that is easy to watch. This year, the sequel National Treasure: Book of Secrets is basically the same movie as the first, with a few different plot twists. Both are very easy to watch and to realize that the cast is having so much fun.

First, let's clear up why Helen Mirren is in this movie. In many interviews this year, Mirren explains that this has been a dream come true. In the Orlando Sentinel, Mirren's interview explains why she chose a Jerry Bruckheimer production:

“My ambition, in film, has always been to fly on wires. In this film, I got to do that. Finally! I was so excited when I was told that would be a part of the movie, me in a harness. I did this movie for the fun, the fun of flying across a canyon, or standing in this huge pyramid chamber while the greatest technicians in the world filled it with water all around you. For two weeks! That’s fun!”

It would seem that she did this film for the money. Well, so what if Mirren did get a hefty paycheck? If I won an Oscar, I don't think my next project would be an independent film for no money, unless it had the caliber of the next Mean Streets.

Let's get back to the film. Book of Secrets can be draggy at some points and the plot is again preposterous, but it's so nice to see a film bring actual historical events into something that could rely more on violence. Nicholas Cage reprises his role as Benjamin Gates, the treasure hunter who has already found the greatest treasure in the world (in the 2004 box-office hit). In the sequel, he wants to clear his family name when Thomas Gates, Ben's great-grandfather, is mentioned in one of the missing pages of John Wilkes Booth's diary. This could prove that he was behind the conspiracy of the Lincoln assassination. With the help of the gang from the first film, his buddy Riley (Justin Bartha), his now ex-girlfriend Abigail (Diane Krueger), his father Patrick Gates (Jon Voight), and new to the cast his mother Emily (Dame Helen Mirren), they set out on an adventure to prove that the Gate family is innocent and to find another treasure, one that could be the greatest in the world.

The cast has so much fun here and you want to be apart of it. I came out of the first film wondering if Cage, Voight, and Harvey Keitel (who is only in a couple scenes in the sequel) were just taking hefty paychecks. But as an actor, it has to be refreshing to have the freedom to bring whatever you want to your role and realize that being apart of something fun can be just as rewarding as something earned. It seemed Mirren was just as excited about this than her Oscar win last year.

Director John Turtletaub and Producer Jerry Bruckheimer have collaborated with their special effects team to create some wonderful sets and very smooth cinematography. The film is better than it will be given credit for. This is Indiana Jones on a junior level, which can have something for everyone. To enjoy the film, sit back and go along for the ride. Otherwise, you will be left behind on a trip that is actually worth taking.

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

*** Stars

A spoof on Walk the Line from the guys who brought you Knocked Up, The 40-Year Old Virgin, Talladega Nights, and Superbad? These are some of the best comedies this decade, so does Walk Hard join them? Well not quite, but it's still worth a look.

Dewey Cox is played by John C. Reilly, who has been in so many supporting roles in the past few years that he finally gets a showcase role to prove that he can be totally hilarious. To understand the jokes, you're going to have to see the Johnny Cash biopic Walk the Line, otherwise you may be scratching your head at some of the humor, including a bit about chopping his brother in half with a machete. After that very brutal but very silly death of his brother, Cox wants to honor his brother by becoming a musician. When his song Walk Hard hits #1, Cox becomes famous and drugs and screwing women become the status-quo of his life. He ends up having 22 kids and 14 stepkids (some are of other races including one named Dewey-Raheem) and takes every drug a man could possibly take. Throughout his struggles, his heart is set on his backup singer Darlene, who he tries to woo for the entire movie. During his PCP tripping days, Cox travels with the Beatles to take drugs with them. The Beatles spoof has Paul Rudd as John Lennon, Jack Black as Paul McCartney, Justin Long as George Harrison, and Jason Schwartzman as Ringo Starr. This is one of the funniest scenes of the year and it is almost worth the price of admission.

John C. Reilly finally gets a roll he can dive into and does deserve the Golden Globe nomination he received this year. It is such a tough genre to pull off and Walk Hard manages to hit the high notes of other successful spoofs like Mel Brook's Spaceballs and manages to rise way above the garbage of the Epic and Date Movie films. At 100 minutes, there are many jokes that are hit-and-miss and some of the songs are a bit of a drag, but there is still plenty here to enjoy if you like these kind of movies. If they're done right, I'm one of them.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

**** Stars

Sweeney Todd is here...

Johnny Depp and Tim Burton collaborate for their sixth motion picture together. The film had to overcome some bad buzz and whether or not Depp's appearance looked a bit too familiar (looks like Edward Scissorhands and sounds like Jack Sparrow). Well Sweeney Todd proves that buzz can mean nothing and that it does resemble Depp's prior roles. But who wouldn't want to see the two performances combined together in a bloody musical adapted from a famous Broadway show? I was totally pulled in.

Depp plays Todd, which is an alias to his prior self Benjamin Barker. Barker was falsely convicted of raping his wife Lucy, by the Judge Turpin (the always impressive Alan Rickman) and deported him to Australia (Turpin was in love with his wife who eventually poisoned herself.) After the death of Lucy, Turpin takes custody of his infant daughter Johanna. This sets up Barker's transition to Sweeney Todd, as he illegally returns to Victorian England years later (with the help of a young man named Anthony) to have his revenge. With the help of Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter) the worst meatpie cook in London, Todd sets up a barber chair to slit the throats of all his customers. It's the perfect date movie.

Alright, I'm Kidding. But don't let that stop you. This is one bloody excellent thriller with dazzling visuals and wonderful songs. The Tony-award winning production went onto Broadway in 1979 with music and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim and while Depp may not have a Broadway voice, his tone and passion create a style of singing that is perfect for a film. This is a dark production and it takes someone with enough confidence like Depp (who was actually cast as Todd before even singing one note from the script) to create a character we truly care for while he is slaughtering people by the throat left and right. For myself, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street joins a rare category this year with other films including Once and Across the Universe: musicals that are one of the best films of the year.

Charlie Wilson's War

***1/2 Stars

I think Charlie Wilson's War suffered from what people were calling the Dreamgirl effect, where the buzz was so strong, that anything short of stellar would be a major letdown. Maybe that happened with Dreamgirls, but not with Charlie Wilson's War, which lives up to its massive hype.

Tom Hanks is and probably always will be the actor that has inspired me the most. I grew up on all his films. I basically know every line to Forrest Gump and Apollo 13, Toy Story is my favorite animated film, and I consider him the James Stewart of our generation. So in Charlie Wilson's War, I knew Tom Hanks would impress me and I'm glad to see him give his best performance since Cast Away.

Charlie Wilson was a single and boozing womanizer who would rather have a glass of whiskey at ten in the morning and flirt with his assistants than work on his reputation as a Congressman from Texas. This story is based off the 2003 book Charlie Wilson's War by George Crile III, which was adapted to the screen by the dialogue king Aaron Sorkin (created The West Wing and the very underrated Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip). The film begins with him drinking whiskey and flirting with strippers in a Vegas penthouse jacuzzi. This is the set up to the man who was the biggest influence in ending the Cold War. Some of our greatest leaders have fit this description. FDR stopped prohibition and would rarely go a day without a martini and Kennedy was in numerous scandals involving sexual relations with women (Elvis may have killed him over Ann Margaret is still a conspiracy. OK, I'm joking). What's interesting about Wilson is the way his flaws actually gave some positive impact towards his decisions.

Julia Roberts plays Joanne Herring, voted the sixth most beautiful woman in Texas. Wilson's weakness towards women let Joanne convince him to take down the Soviet Empire. Charlie and Joanne bumped uglies and then he began his plan to raise the budget (that aided Afghanistan's fight over the Soviets) from $5 million to a hell of a lot more. Over time, Wilson managed to raise over one billion dollars. He claimed that if the U.S shot down the helicopters then they would win the war. In a way, he made the perfect decision.

The film is proof that women have a certain power of men. Charlie Wilson had a kind heart but would jump at the chance to get with a woman. Joanne took her power of stunning beauty and used it to convince this man to take down one of the biggest empires in the world. With the help of a bored CIA specialist named Gust Avrakotos (the always amazing Philip Seymour Hoffman), the two travel from country to country trying to bring allies together. When the Soviet Union and the Berlin Wall fell, Wilson went to congress to ask for a mere $1 million dollars to rebuild a school in Afghanistan. They rejected the reconstruction of the city and Wilson claims that we had the right objective in mind, but "we fucked up the end game."

This is another successful film involving the important issues of today. Even though this took place in the Reagan years, it still brings questions to the table involving foreign issues and the mistakes of political decisions. What makes this such an entertaining film is how blisteringly funny it is. When Wilson is leaving a limo with two strippers inside it, they ask why he was to leave. He claimed that he had to vote for something involving the Boy Scouts of America. The stripper responds with a snappy "Are you fucking kidding me?" Line for line, Sorkin never misses a beat, even though some moments are a bit silly (there are moments when things are a bit too staged as when Wilson's assistants are helping him cover a scandal he was involved in). But who cares? The scene is so fun and so confident that it works. Plus, Amy Adams plays his personal assistant who I am growing to love more and more in each film I see her in (if you haven't seen her Oscar nominated role in Junebug, you are missing out). This is a refreshing and lighter look at important issues and history that feels like a politically charged Thank You for Smoking. Directed by Hollywood legend Mike Nichols (The Graduate, Closer), Charlie Wilson's War is carried with the wit and snappy comedy to allow anyone to walk away satisfied. Hanks and Hoffman are a duo of jocular strength, capturing the other side of what the media brings us. Who said history has to always be taken seriously?

I Am Legend

**1/2 Stars

If God had to choose one person to be immune to a virus that eliminates life on earth, I'm sure God would pick Will Smith. Smith has the power to demand I Am Legend's authenticity towards its subject, but even he can't save an ending that is one of the worst an audience member could ask for after such a promising start.

Smith plays Robert Neville, a brilliant scientist who claims to be the last man on earth after a deadly virus has wiped out civilization. Many have died and others have been transformed into mutants, which like in any other zombie flick, have the power of a superhero juiced up on steroids. Neville and his dog Sam spend the days hunting, gathering, and trying to find a cure to the disease while locking themselves in at night to avoid being a mutants dinner. Director Frank Lawrence (Constantine) has the patience to create a great build-up and to let Smith do what he does best, be the hero of heroes. But the film gets to a point when you look at the person next to you and say "This can either get really good or painfully bad." I'm sad to report that you will be in pain.

A cliched third-act not only ruins this film, it destroys it. I made a vow to never give away spoilers that give away something to my readers, but I will say that you will know exactly where this film is going the second you feel the film takes a turn for a worse. The entire audience in the theater I was in realized this moment roughly at the same time. After being teased for the first hour, I Am Legend is Constantine and War of the Worlds in a blender, mixed with the schlock that is unnecessary to the film and unfair to Mr. Smith.

The Golden Compass

** Stars

In a nutshell, The Golden Compass is a major disappointment, filled with bloated action cliches and underwritten characters. Do not be fooled by the trailers, Nicole Kidman's and Daniel Craig's talent are wasted. Both are reduced to the most limited screen time I have ever seen leads get.

Rather than letting us escape into the world of these characters, director Chris Weitz reduces it to a lecture of how the audience should think. In the very beginning, Eva Green plays a witch whose character tells us that there is another world where people's souls are actually demons (shaped like animals who are always by there side). We're not shown, we're told. In the Lord of the Rings trilogy, we're given a background of the ring's history and what it had gone through. We're not given a back story but rather an idea that there are other worlds that have very different life styles.

A young girl named Lyra Belacqua (Dakota Blue Richards) is caught between two worlds when she is found discussing something she shouldn't know. She learns of the term dust and how it could be a portal to another world. But there are certain people who do not want this to happen. Nicole Kidman plays Marisa Coulter, a woman apart who tricks the child into believing that she will take her on an adventure. Lyra soon discovers that she is up to something much worse.

I have to ad that it is almost impossible to ad Daniel Craig to the plot summary of this film. He is in it for almost ten minutes. He plays Lyra's uncle who journeys to find the link between the universes. The problem is that they don't show his adventure, only the idea of it. Hell, even Kidman is wasted and is waiting around for the plot to come back to her character.

There are some scenes filled with exciting moments. Kidman owns every seen she is in, bringing the ruthlessness to a very dark villain. Her seduction to the child is interesting. What child wouldn't want to go on an adventure with a beautiful smooth-talking Nicole Kidman? There is also a climatic fight between two polar bears that is visually stunning.

The film is based of the novel by Philip Pullman, whose controversial subject has drawn several Christian groups claiming that the book encourages children to practice atheism. I haven't read the novel, but the film adaptation does bring an idea that there is an evil religious empire brainwashing children to believe in their ideas. The problem with The Golden Compass is that the ideas are uncertain and the empire is left somewhat clueless, therefore we are left with a sense of emptiness. The ending is so abrupt that I actually thought the film was missing a real. We are left with an ending without an ending.

The Golden Compass is New Line's biggest risk since LOTR ($180 Million) and it doesn't even come close to that kind of quality. Even with each chapter of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, we were left with an inner conclusion of the part of the story. Characters were still journeying to destroy the ring, but the moments were wrapped wonderfully for each scene of each film. In this film, we are left with a reason to see a sequel just for the sake of seeing it, one that probably won't even be made (the film only opened to $25.7 million). Only time will tell, not that anyone is really anticipating it.

Awake

*1/2

Awake's trailer had me believing something this movie is not. It had me believing that the film was about what would happen if a patient was still mentally awake during a heart transplant and could still feel and see the pain the body goes through during the process. In fact, the film is about a young executive who may be murdered by love ones in his life. The actual anesthesia part of the film lasts for about four minutes of the film. That's not the real problem with Awake. The film just sucks.

Jessica Alba is up to her usual tricks by looking pretty and starring into the camera while Hayden Christiansen continues his wooden acting techniques. Terrence Howard is way too good of an actor to be in this film. But hey, everyone's got to heat their homes for the holidays.

The plot is absurd. Christensen plays Clay Beresford who has a weak heart after a heart attack. He is left with his father's fortune and runs his company which from what we're told owns about half of New York. He falls in love with Sam Lockwood (Jessica Alba) who plays the pretty fiance. When he finally gets a heart to transplant, things become graphic when the anesthesia doesn't knock him out enough and he lies paralyzed and in excruciating amount of pain. But after that lasts for two seconds, he goes on an hour long journey to find a way to stop everyone from trying to kill him and take his money.

I don't want to give any more plot away because it would just give away spoilers, but the film relies on the stereotypical cliches that must take place in a suspense film. People who you thought were good are actually murderers and a last minute act of self-sacrifice saves someone important. There is no real reason to actually go and see it. Plus the film references one of the films I loathe the most (Darkness) and even though it may have worked better in this film, it certainly isn't a friendly reminder.

Free Willy: Dedicated to Jonathon Aaron Zeichner

Don't worry, I have a reasoning behind this review.

See, I know this person by the name of Jonathon Aaron Zeichner, who for months, maybe even years now has requested that I review the film Free Willy. I always took it as a joke because that is the kind of man this person is. But I felt that I would be a hypocrite if I ignored his request because that is not the critic I want to be. So here is my Free Willy review dedicated to Mr. Zeichner. You're Welcome My Friend.

The famous scene in Free Willy (when Willy finally makes it into the free sea by jumping over Jesse and a pile of rocks)) has to be one of the most spoofed shots of the 1990's. Released in 1993, the film may not have been a critical success, but it certainly captured the heart of many kids growing up in this time. I was one of them. Now as a nineteen year old from a critical perspective, it's hard for me to review a film like this. As just a film, it's bland plot is somewhat forgettable, but as an experience growing up, it certainly earns its sentimental value.

The plot itself revolves around a young punk named Jesse, who gets caught vandalizing a marina (of course he picks a marina otherwise there would be no story here, right?) He has been on the run since his mother abandoned him six years before. As a punishment, he must work in the marina to pay of his debt, when soon becoming best friends with an oversized whale named Willy. The two form an interesting friendship that instead of being silly, it's quite delicate. The message is very simple which is a good thing. There is always someone you can turn to.

Jesse tries to get Willy ready for a competition but Willy cannot perform effectively in front of an audience so the owners plan to kill the whale for insurance money. It is up to Jesse and his friends to set the whale free. Like any Disney film, it is obvious where the film is going to end. All the bad guys will get their comeuppance while the good guys always win. The film is predictable and corny as hell, but for a kid, this is a mild cinematic treasure.

I cannot give this film a rating because it wouldn't be fair to it. I want to remember this film as it was, as a treat for my days as a young child just waiting to find more films to see, and eventually more to review.