* Star
Messier than a bedpan, with more holes than the children's novel Holes, it's a bird! It's a plane! It's...a movie about some dude who can teleport anywhere at any time being chased by a white-haired Samuel L. Jackson.
With a tagline saying "Anywhere is Possible," Jumper hypocritically goes nowhere exciting nor inventive with an actual cool premise for a movie. It seemed the crew (and especially the talented director Doug Liman) gave up when they cast Hayden Christensen as the lead (a low-blow I know, but am I wrong?). Now I expected this to be bad, but I was wishing for a fun throw-popcorn-at-the-screen-with-your-friends flick, but instead my eyes came heavy and irritated. The screenplay seemed to be written by a fifteen year old who was pissed at bullies for teasing him. Why? Because when David Rice (Christensen) is at age fifteen or so and is being picked on, he magically teleports to different places at anytime. Hayden Christensen narrates that it was time for him to get out of there. Out of where? It is natural to get picked on in High School and if a student needs to leave everything he knows, then so be it. For the start, we learn that Rice is a coward, by using his powers to escape his problems and to secretly rob banks. Why not help his country? He would be an amazing asset to the military. Oh wait, I forgot, he is a coward.
Years later, Christensen plays himself, with Rachel Bilson as his love interest, playing herself, with Samuel L. Jackson chasing them, playing himself. Rice discovers this gift has existed for centuries. After finding out he is not the only one, he is sucked into a war that has been continuing for thousands of years between "Jumpers" and those like Samuel L. Jackson who have been sworn to kill him. It is an annoying experience, filled with bloated action cliches and a premise wasted by the safety of assuring a #1 spot at the box-office.
With a tagline saying "Anywhere is Possible," Jumper hypocritically goes nowhere exciting nor inventive with an actual cool premise for a movie. It seemed the crew (and especially the talented director Doug Liman) gave up when they cast Hayden Christensen as the lead (a low-blow I know, but am I wrong?). Now I expected this to be bad, but I was wishing for a fun throw-popcorn-at-the-screen-with-your-friends flick, but instead my eyes came heavy and irritated. The screenplay seemed to be written by a fifteen year old who was pissed at bullies for teasing him. Why? Because when David Rice (Christensen) is at age fifteen or so and is being picked on, he magically teleports to different places at anytime. Hayden Christensen narrates that it was time for him to get out of there. Out of where? It is natural to get picked on in High School and if a student needs to leave everything he knows, then so be it. For the start, we learn that Rice is a coward, by using his powers to escape his problems and to secretly rob banks. Why not help his country? He would be an amazing asset to the military. Oh wait, I forgot, he is a coward.
Years later, Christensen plays himself, with Rachel Bilson as his love interest, playing herself, with Samuel L. Jackson chasing them, playing himself. Rice discovers this gift has existed for centuries. After finding out he is not the only one, he is sucked into a war that has been continuing for thousands of years between "Jumpers" and those like Samuel L. Jackson who have been sworn to kill him. It is an annoying experience, filled with bloated action cliches and a premise wasted by the safety of assuring a #1 spot at the box-office.
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