Wall-E

**** Stars

I think Pixar is one of the only studios that can be safely marked with originality. With Wall-E being its eventual ninth hit in a row, this marks the culmination of a time where an animated film needs to be nominated for best picture. Wall-E is a perfect film to hold that crown. This is the best film so far this year.

The film’s opening thirty minutes is one of the most visually astounding things cinema has to offer. Wall-E, also known as a Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class is a machine made to clean up human garbage. After life on earth is unsustainable, he is left alone for seven-hundred years. To stay busy, he continues to collect garbage and dream of once seeing something alive again. He watches re-runs of Hello Dolly and stays sane by hanging out with his insect buddy. The opening plays like science fiction paranoia. Even though Wall-E is equipped with a positronic brain, could you imagine being alone for seven-hundred years? I guess immortality isn't as great as everyone says it could be.

However, after all those years, Wall-E is met by another robot named Eve. She is the most beautiful thing Wall-E has ever seen. When they get acquainted through interpersonal robot communication (never thought I'd put that in a sentence) she has discovered that this robot has found the key to Earth's rehabilitation. Wall-E has found life. Life in a small plant found in garbage. She is forced to take it and go into hibernation until the plant is safe back at her mothership. Wall-E is so destined to be with her that he hitches a ride on the back of the ship. He has no idea what is going on, but the power of love has taken over his circuit boards. When they reach the ship, a love story emerges between Wall-E and Eve as they also try and save planet earth from the machines that were created to protect both them and the humans who built them.

What's interesting is director Andrew Stanton’s (Finding Nemo) decision to install real life humans inside the story. Fred Willard plays the CEO of the BnL (Buy n' Large) corporation. His company seven-hundred years prior seemed to have taken over earth while soon destroying it in the process. This is another vision as to the potential apocalyptic downfall of our world. It works because this is does not feel like a lecture. This is a science fiction story with a twist of love. What could be more satisfying to the film lover in all of us? This has just as much magic as E.T did twenty-six years ago. Wall-E is a majestic piece of cinema, one as exuberant as our imagination can possibly render.

Critics and audiences alike will eventually have to make a top ten list of the greatest Pixar films of all time, given that out of the nine they have created (Toy Story, A Bug's Life, Toy Story 2, Monster's Inc., Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Cars, Ratatouille, and now Wall-E) five of them are already masterpieces while others are strenuously close. Wall-E marks an already unprecedented high for Pixar. After this film was over, I wanted to pack up my suitcase and head off to Disney World. That's how much this film means to the inner child in me.

The Happening

*** Stars

I am giving this movie three stars because M. Night Shyamalan would want me to.

In a recent interview, Shyamalan told reporters this: "I wanted it to be a fantastic, fun B-movie. The number one thing is I want people to say: 'That was a really fun B-movie.'"

Well, it may not be his greatest film, but he lives up to his word. The Happening is a creeper, one that makes you think beyond the fears of terrorism and man-made weapons.

Everyone knows how I feel about people’s hatred towards M. Night, so I won’t even bother to go into that again. His latest effort is a story of the beginning of the end of mankind. As if there is enough evil in the world, The Happening shows man’s downfall by mass suicide. The opening shot is Central Park in New York on a warm sunny day. Only Shyamalan could make this look like the bowels of hell. We begin to fear days of nature when it is suppose to comfort us from the shadows of night. For some reason, something is happening that is killing humans like ants under someone’s foot.

The story slows down in order to follow Elliot Moore (Mark Wahlberg) and his wife Alma (Zooey Deschanel) traveling through the state of Pennsylvania (Shyamalan is now obsessed with this state, where all of his films since The Sixth Sense have taken place) to try and escape the event that is happening. With them is their friend Julian (John Leguizamo) and his daughter Jess. When the four travel on a train to escape the attacks, the train stops after losing contact with everyone. They are trapped in a small town that no one has ever heard of, which gives them the idea of safety. But once they discover that this is not a terrorist attack and that small towns are being affected, things turn for the worst. Julian leaves to find his wife and Elliot, Amla, and Jess are forced to run for their lives against a force beyond our understanding.

So what is the mystery surrounding these events? I went online after the film to read people’s explanations and theories. I enjoyed someone’s idea that everything is psychosomatic and that once someone believes that they will get sick, they will mentally enter that stage. It doesn’t explain why everyone in Central Park became symptomatic all at the same time, but that theory is very much apart of this feature regardless of its beginning.

The small town paranoia is Shyamalan’s specialty. In Signs, he explored a family’s reconnection through an alien attack in rural Pennsylvania. In The Village, he studied a group of people escaping towards innocence after living in a world of post 9/11 fear. Now in The Happening, he takes one couple who has lost the feeling of love and must rediscover its roots in order to save themselves and the world around them. It sounds kind of ridiculous on paper, but Shyamalan gets his point across through his purposefully fun and scary B-movie approach.

NOTE: After writing this review, I thought of a theory on my own. This is just a theory that may or may not be true. But I think it is a definite possibility. (You may want to see the film before reading this).

It is hard to notice, but even through The Happening’s tagline, Shyamalan delivers brilliance. It shows that all of his films since The Sixth Sense are connected through some sort of dimension.

“We’ve sensed it. We’ve seen the signs. Now, it’s happening.”

Think about it. The Sixth Sense is being able to see dead people. So in The Happening, the power of whatever is attacking these humans is able to see and choose who is dead and who is staying alive.

In Unbreakable, the main character has survived a train wreck that no one else could and has the ability to protect people. It turns out that he is not a human, but a creature with unexplainable power. In The Happening, nature has the ability to protect us, if we are willing to protect it back. It is a creature with unexplainable power.

In Signs, an outside force has attacked the world we live in. They we’re hostile creatures who wanted to destroy the human race. In The Happening, an outside force has attacked our society that is hostile and unknown.

In The Village, a small town must stay inside a border or unknown creatures in the woods will destroy them all. It turns out that these people are actually staying inside a border because of real world fear. Their small group allows them to protect innocence and their own survival. In The Happening, people must stay inside a border consisting of the amount of people in a group. The smaller the group, the better chance of survival.

Even in Lady in the Water, it tells the story of one hotel trying to discover its purpose. In The Happening, it tells the story of one couple trying to discover the purpose to their survival. For both films, it had themes of love.

People may perceive this as Shyamalan giving us only one idea over and over, but I think Shyamalan knows exactly what he’s doing. He is creating a fear that every human feels (the loss of innocence and the end of life) and has taken these ideas and thrown them into existence. Even though his films are about seeing dead people, being attacked by aliens, and seeing a nymph in a pool, we can relate to his ideas just by letting our minds wonder.

The Incredible Hulk

** Stars

A re-boot of Ang Lee's 2003 lackluster Hulk may be exactly what this world needs. Right?

Wrong.

In fact, the only reason for this new version of the Hulk franchise is to set up an Avengers movie. The idea is perfect, but the execution is absolutely pointless. As I sat in the midnight showing, no one around me looked very excited. Most just sat at the screen and were probably thinking the same thing I was. What's the point of all this?

There is no doubt that this film will be successful financially. I just wish the studios listened to their star Edward Norton about the film's ending. Norton, very upset about the films conclusion, threatened to stop promoting his film if studios didn't bring back the ending he wanted. He lost. Studios won. Audiences suffered.

Norton is one of America's finest actors, but I think he is miscast as Bruce Banner (His transformation into the Hulk is hard to believe given his small stature as Banner). In the opening, Norton plays Banner muted as he is hiding in the shadows looking for a cure to his somewhat unusual circumstance. He is not looking to control his power, only to destroy it. Soon, he has to go on the run once the government tracks him down so they can use him as a weapon. This film does not make the American government look like the good guy. But then again, what film lately has?

The Hulk has a soft spot (every hero does) for his girl Betty Ross (a cheesy but somewhat appropriate Liv Tyler). When they reunite once again, her father, General Thaddeus Ross (William Hurt) will use anything he can to get to Bruce. Even if that means using her daughter. Both Betty and Bruce do what they can to find a cure, but the General has a few tricks up his sleeves and creates his own Hulk-Powered machine. Tim Roth plays Emil Blonsky, a commando who wants every power Bruce has. He is injected with doses of adrenaline and is turned into the evil side of Hulk's power. The two square off in a final battle that is visually impressive (Roth and Norton actually fought each other using digital technology that Andy Serkis also used to create King Kong and Gollum) but lacking in emotional intensity. Its finale is annoyingly kept open for a sequel. The biggest cheer in this film is Robert Downey Jr.'s cameo as Tony Stark, which proves that Iron Man is a much better adaptation.

Maybe Norton will be a great match-up with Downey when they team up as Hulk and Iron Man in the upcoming Avengers film. But for now, I'll ignore this film and look to the future. You should do the same.

Kung Fu Panda

***1/2 Stars

What ads such wonderful energy to Kung Fu Panda is the voice work of Jack Black. I was worried when I saw the trailer that it would just be Black shaped as a panda showing off his stereotypical mannerisms. But while watching the film, I found that Black's personality and the screenplay's old fashioned story telling created a winning combination to surprise my very low expectations. Other voices include Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Lucy Lui, Seth Rogen, and Jackie Chan.

Even when Jolie is portraying a tigress, she's still hot. She is one of the legendary Furious Five including Crane, Mantis, Viper, and Monkey whose powers are some of the best Kung Fu has ever seen. Black is a lazy panda named Po, who is accidentally chosen as the Dragon Warrior. As the Warrior, it is his responsibility to defeat the snow leopard Tai Lung, once a friend who turned foe when he himself was not chosen as the dragon warrior. Tai Lung’s overbearing power corrupted his mind and forced him to retreat and destroy the life he once knew.

Po is an overweight but kind-hearted soul. He may not have the muscles and strength as others in Kung Fu, but using what he knows, Po finds a way to learn a style that is different from any other. He is trained using his flaws as an asset to create potential as a member of Allies of Kung Fu.

Created by DreamWorks Animation, Kung Fu Panda is its strongest film since the original Shrek. It has a lovable hero, a wonderful supporting cast, and solid size of laughs. Not once did I lose a smile, unless I was laughing along with Po, who is destined to become an iconic animated character. I can now see why the film was selected to the Cannes film festival. Why not spice things up and embrace a genre that has dominated both box-office numbers and the kid in all of us? It seems this film and Pixar's Wall-E will be fighting for the crown come Oscar season.

You Don’t Mess with the Zohan

*1/2 Stars

Adam Sandler has never looked better in any movie. He is fit, he is lean, and he still gets the hot girl. But a good looking Adam Sandler does not necessarily create a good looking movie. You Don’t Mess with the Zohan is a stale and an obsessively unfit comedy for the world we live in.

It’s a strange dilemma. Adam Sandler sure has made some stinkers (including this one), but I am still at the theater on the opening nights of his films. He’s like a girl you can’t stop hooking up with every time you see her. Sandler has just received MTV’s highest honor for comedy at the Movie Awards last week. His years of offensive screwball films have captured the hearts of frat boys and pre-teenagers all over the world. Audiences also know that he can act. His two best performances were dramas: Punch Drunk Love and Reign Over Me. I am sad to report that Zohan is on the same level as I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, as one of Sandler’s worst films.

The movie, co-written by Judd Apatow, Sandler, and Robert Smigel, is trying too hard to make us laugh. Sandler plays a Mossad agent named Zohan Dvir, who is tired of fighting as an Israeli assassin. He decides to fake his own death to travel to New York City so he can achieve the American Dream. A dream of cutting and stylizing hair. I guess we all have a little Sex and the City in us. Even Adam Sandler.

When he gets to New York, he takes a job at a salon where of course it is run by a hot Palestinian girl (Entourage’s Emmanuelle Chriqui). Where would the world be without a little Isreali-Palestinian humor? That humor in this film has sent their people back a thousand years. So does that mean the war has just begun?

That was a little harsh. But come on, there is no point to this movie except to give Sandler more strong box-office numbers. Why doesn’t Sandler take a stretch before running the same course over and over? My advice to him is to ditch the same old crew consisting of another Razzie-caliber performance by Rob Schneider and the sadly miscast John Turturro, and collaborate with his old college roommate (Apatow) respectively and make a comedy classic of Superbad, Knocked Up, and 40-Year Old Virgin like proportions. If not, I really don’t think Sandler can keep making me hook up with that same old dud.