The Fourth Kind

*1/2 stars

The Fourth Kind is one lazy movie. Almost never have I seen a film that fills the screen with so much text and unnecessary descriptions about fake people experiencing fake alien abductions in a movie that feels, well, fake. When you have a premise that's as delicious as alien abductions, you should never have to shove the idea that what is happening on screen is actually real down an audience member's throat. Most notably in the film's first scene, where it begins with actress Milla Jovovich walking up to the camera in a dampened forest starring at you with her seductively green eyes saying the most absurd things on screen all year. "I am actress Milla Jovovich, and I will be portraying Dr. Abigail Tyler. This film is a dramatization of events that occurred October 2000. Everything in this movie is supported by archive footage. Some of what you are about to see is extremely disturbing." When I first watched the theatrical trailer, I found that to be a very interesting idea; a film that shows both the re-creation of events and the events themselves. Then I discovered that nothing in this film is real and that it's all just one big giant joke on the moviegoers of America. Now if you'll excuse us, we're heading off to a horror movie that gets it right, and it's a little big film called Paranormal Activity.