Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

** stars

In a blockbuster, there's really only one rule to follow: it has to be entertaining. It can be about anything, so long as people are into it. For a fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie to exist, you would think the creative team behind it would follow that rule. Instead, On Stranger Tides is destined to be one of the most boring films of the summer. Audiences ye be warned.

You can't ask much from a franchise that should have stayed At World's End four years ago. There's really no need for another Pirates film. In fact, the only thing successful about it is that producer Jerry Bruckheimer was able to convince Johnny Depp to come back. Sure, he loves playing Captain Jack Sparrow, but receiving the highest paycheck of all time by an actor (at a whopping $35 million) certainly must have helped in the negotiation period.

Then again, Depp banks on almost everything that he's featured in. So why tire out a character audiences already love? Sure, the actor still brings his energy and charisma into the swashbuckler, but even he can't save this installment, one that director Rob Marshall struggles with endlessly. The pace is all off, jumping from chase scenes to talking, to sword-fights and more talking, to beautiful exterior shots of ships and yes, more talking. And that wouldn't be so bad if the dialogue wasn't so dull and expositional.

The hardly recognizable plot has Jack Sparrow on the run again simply because he's a pirate. Teaming up with his old nemesis Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), they embark on a quest to find the fountain of youth, which can give eternal life to anyone who drinks from it. Soon, they discover that others are trying to find it, including the evil Blackbird (Ian McShane) and his daughter Angelica (Penelope Cruz). Apparently, her and Jack have a past, which allows the writers an easier passage to the introduction of the character. Why does she have to be someone from his past? Can't she just be her own character and not a protege of Jack's? That would have allowed a spark to occur instead of just reigniting an old flame. When you're making a fourth film in a franchise that already as a hard time justifying its existence, it's frustrating when things are still in the past.

Which is exactly what On Stranger Tides feels like. It's old, outdated, and meant only for the hardest of hardcore Jack Sparrow fans. It's one thing to keep a franchise going long after it has outstayed its welcome. It's another to do that, and then shove it in your face.