Chloe

** Stars

Chloe, or Fatal Attraction meets Closer, brings up the question: Does a B-movie with an A-list cast make it better or worse? The film doesn't necessarily provide an answer, and I won't be premature and say worse, but this uninteresting and lazy thriller certainly helps that claim.

This is one of those movies where every single character borderlines on being unlikeable. They are all either hopeless and helpless or lost and confused, and every member of the main family seems to know nothing about each other. Julianne Moore plays the miserable, middle-aged wife Catherine Stewart, a gynecologist who suspects her husband David (Liam Neeson) of having an affair after missing the flight home for his surprise birthday party. David's excuse is that he hates birthday parties and everything about them. You'd assume he's lying, but in the context of the conversation the couples has, Catherine seems to know this. So wouldn't you think after two decades or so of marriage, she'd know that a surprise birthday party is probably not the best idea? Doesn't matter. It happens anyway.

Her suspicions are raised when she reads a text message on David's phone, "Thanks for last night!"-Miranda. And there's a picture to go with it of her and David. Okay, now that's plausible. But things go from melodramatic to ridiculous when Catherine hires a beautiful young woman named Chloe to flirt with her husband. Her job? To see how he will act. Wouldn't it be much easier to just call Miranda's phone or text her back and pretend to be him? Wait, that's what a real suspicious person would do under the circumstances. This after all, is a movie, one with characters doing things they would never do unless they were in fact, in a movie. I'm all for suspending disbelief, but I won't settle for boring and illogical storytelling.

So just when I thought I had figured out Chloe, it turns into every joke I thought about in my head while viewing it. When the film reveals all its secrets, there were moments where I thought, it would be really funny if that character slept with that character, then lied about it, then had sex with someone else that was important to that character out of revenge, then went crazy because of all the rejection. I had seriously doubts I'd be right here, but this in fact, is what actually happens.

I did my best there not to give anything away. In other words, let's just say Chloe is not afraid to go there. It's a shame that the A-list actors are dragged along for the ride.

I may have just answered my own question.