Monsters vs Aliens

** Stars

In 2009, almost all the animated features getting wide-releases in theaters will be in 3-D. It's the latest marketing strategy for Hollywood to get people back to the movie theater. In what I suspect to be the first of many, DreamWork's Monsters vs. Aliens (the second most expensive animated film of all time behind Wall-E) is a victim of 3-D dependence. In other words, rather than using the 3-D technology as an asset to the story, the film relies on it as a disguise for its excruciatingly formulaic screenplay.

On a rather personal rant from me to DreamWorks, come on! You can't think of a better idea than a monster vs. alien story? Were you this desperate for a hit that you decided to create a film based off the safest and most overdone premise in Hollywood? If you want to use this idea so be it, but when you make overdone references to famous Science Fiction films like 2001: A Space Odyssey and have your characters actually say lines like "Once again, a UFO has landed in America, the only country UFOs ever seem to land in" as your big punchline to fall back on, it is clear that you're not trying very hard.

Sure, there's nothing wrong with spoofing a genre. DreamWorks did that very well with Shrek and even Shrek 2 (I'm pretending the third one doesn't exist) but with those films you took those references and spun it a certain way making it your own. In Monsters vs. Aliens (with the exception of Seth Rogen's sensational character) everything feels too stale for my film-loving pallet.

The story begins with Susan (Reese Witherspoon) on her wedding day. Her fiancé, the local celebrity weatherman Derek (Paul Rudd), is all she ever wants in life. Everything seems to going to plan, until a random twist of fate turns Susan's world upside down that allows the screenwriters to create an excuse to begin a conflict. The twist? A meteorite crash lands on Susan's head. The igneous rock formation is filled with Quantonium, an element that gives Susan the extraordinary side effect to blow up to the size of a skyscraper. She is instantly named a "monster" by the government and is sent to a classified military base for isolation. She is put in an enormous room with four other "monsters" to remain confined until the plot needs her again.

Hugh Laurie appropriately voices a brilliant cockroach named Dr. Cockroach (Wow, I wonder how long it look to name this character) who can devise almost any scientific tool using the most simplistic elements (like garbage or antennas, you know, geeky stuff). His distinctive personality trait? An evil laugh. Again, that must have required some serious research.

Will Arnett is very solid as the voice of The Missing Link, the go-to-monster when it comes time to kick some serious alien, uh, tentacles. How strange that The Missing Link reminded me of a friendlier “Comedian,” the ruthless bad-boy superhero from Watchmen. It's a fitting character to have in a story like this, but he is a lost nuance in a story that won't let him come to life.

Monsters vs. Aliens is almost worth the price of admission to witness Seth Rogen voice B.O.B, a gelatinous brainless goo that ironically adds the film's only breath of fresh air. He is a wonderful supporting character who deserves his own film. Rogen riffs off the other actors with zest, intelligent wit, and necessary lightheartedness.

There are several scenes that get very weird, especially during a scene that feels like an exercise in gender reversal. Two lovebirds drive in an old school convertible to a remote location to park for a good old fashion 1950's-like snuggle fest. Apparently when you're using a concept like monsters vs. aliens you're also allowed to suspend ages of time and condense everything together. Note to the screenwriters, just because your concept has been used throughout different decades doesn't mean you can collapse the continuum of time for your own formatting advantage.

As the plot lingers on, the four monsters are called into action when an alien attack threatens earth's survival. Gallaxhar (Rainn Wilson) is the evil leader of the alien race. Actually, to be politically correct, he is the evil leader of himself. His alien race is made up of millions of duplicated Galaxhars. This alien comes off as a really creepy loner who seems to want to destroy a civilization so he can do anything he wants with, uh, "himselves".

Although visually inventive and wonderfully rendered, Monsters vs. Aliens fails to live up to its promise. I hope this new zeitgeist era of 3-D animation doesn't cloud the minds of its innovators. One of the great benefits of animation is its ability to create abstract and imaginative world’s live-action films can't, but that's no excuse to leave storytelling lagging behind.