Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Casey LaMarca Movie Reviews

Mr. 3000

Written by: Casey LaMarca

Starring: Bernie Mac

Directed by: Charles Stone III

**1/2

We have recently seen Bernie Mac in supporting roles (Ocean's 11, Bad Santa), but this time he decides to go for the lead, and he gives a comical but also a touching performance. It's too bad the plot is a routine sports flick filled with typical sport cliches. Mac plays Stan Ross who just retired from baseball as soon as achieving his 3,000th base hit. Now, however, after three of those hits during his career with the Milwaukee Brewers have been disqualified, the Hall of Famer returns to the game, playing once again for the Brewers, to play a few more games and get back to the 3,000 mark. Before his retirement and still playing for the Brewers, Ross is a great player but he hates the press and does not care about anything else but him and his 3000th hit. All he wants is the glory to himself so he can become a legend of the game. But after coming back to baseball 9 years later, he discovers that the experience renews his love for the sport, reminding him what it was like to be a true baseball player again, and also to mentor the rookies who play with him so they do not turn up like a out of retirement washout like himself. It takes him a while to realize that the game is not about yourself, but about teamwork and determination. The films comedy and heart ties together and it felt good to watch. Bernie Mac gives one of his best performances but it'd nothing to get yourself rattled about.


Paparazzi-*1/2 Cole Hauser plays an actor who just mad it big until he meets, The Paparazzi out to destroy is his life and all his friends and families. After they hurt him and his family in a car accident, he decides to get bloody satisfaction. The plot is unsatisfying and thank God this movie is only 85 minutes long.


Alien vs. Predator- 0 stars (F): ONE OF THE WORST MOVIES OF THE YEAR is loud annoying, and devastatingly predictable, with stick figure like acting. Sanaa Lathan, the worst person to pick for this role, plays a woman who loves to clime and knows all about geography. She leads a team into the ground to find out that they are in the middle of a war between the aliens and the predators. The real question here is: What's the point?

Collateral-****(A): It started like any other night. That is until Foxx picks up Cruise for a cab fair and before he knows it, he is on the run from this maniac who is hired to kill people for one night. Foxx tries to protect himself and later on finds out that he must protect Jada Pinkett Smith, a women he drove that he liked. But can he stop Cruise before it is too late? Find out for yourself in one of the best movies of the year which is one fair you won't mind paying.


The Manchurian Candidate-***(B): Denzel Washington stars in this psychological suspense thriller about an ex-GI running for Vice-President brainwashed to control the country. Washington, also being brainwashed, tries to figure out who is behind this before it is to late. Washington gave a powerful performance.

The Village-**** M. Night Shyamalan Does it Again
Joaquin Phoenix should just become partners with Shyamalan. Every time they are together, they put on a great show. Bryce Howard, academy award winner Ron Howard's daughter, gives an extraordinary debut as the main role in this movie. Love the ending or hate it, you cannot deny that you thought about its premise all the way home. This is one of the most underrated films of our time.


THE BOURNE SUPREMACY- ***1/2
Matt Damon stars in the sequel of The Bourne Identity, which is one of the best movies of the summer. It returns to the adventures of Jason Borne. After hiding in India, he is now framed for a murder and robbery that took place in Berlin, Germany. He now must find out why he was framed and who set him up. This is a top-notch action thriller.


I ROBOT- *** Will Smith gives a solid performance in this high-octane adventure of science fiction. Del Spooner, a washed up police detective has found a flaw in the new USR robot that could destroy the life of humans. Smith's bold charisma saves the movie from dropping into formula.


ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGHANDY- ***

Will Farrell tells you to stay classy San Diego in this hilarious comedy about Ron, who is the most popular news anchors in San Diego. But when Veronica (Christina Applegate) comes along as the first Anchorwomen, things start to heat up. Other than Farrell, more hilarious performances from Steve Carrell, Tim Robbins, Jack Black, Ben Stiller, Luke Wilson, and Vince Vaughn. This is one of the funniest movies of the year.


King Arthur-***
Clive Owen and the BEAUTIFUL Keira Knightly star in this film about King Arthur and his knights who must bring go on one more quest so they can be liberated from Rome. Anthony Fuqua, director of Training Day and Tears of the Sun brings a style to the film, but relies too much on action. With more story and less action, this could have been the historically epic we were yearning for.


Spiderman 2-****

One of The Best Superhero Movie Ever Created
This is twice as better as the original and that is saying a lot. A stylish and powerful action packed romantic drama adventure starring Tobey Maguire who is just getting better and better as Spiderman. He played so well as him that he should deserve some recognition as the great hero who is out to fight yet again and this time against Doctor Octopus "Doc' Oc'" who is trying to take over everything. Kirsten Dunst plays Mary Jane Watson all grown up, acting, living and still loving Peter Parker. It seems she will never stop loving him no matter how he acts. This is a great film.


Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story ***(B) Ben Stiller is hilarious yet again in this one-liner comedy that made my sides hurt throughout the 90 minute feature. A group of guys from a gym must get 50,000 dollars to pay for their gym otherwise they will lose it to Globo Gym who is the best gym in town. Vince Vaughn, Christine Taylor, Ben Stiller, and Milton from Office Space put on one hilarious comedy with sidesplitting laughs. THUMBS UP

The Terminal ***1/2

Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg should become Siamese Twins because I never want them to separate in making movies. They have don Saving Private Ryan, Catch Me if you Can, and finally this movie about a man named Victor Nivorski who is stuck in an airport because he is "unacceptable". He has nowhere to live because of a war going on in his home country. Therefore his passport is invalid so he cannot leave the airport. This movie has the heart more movies lately need.


The Stepford Wives ** With veteran cast of Nicole Kidman, Glenn Close, Matthew Broderick and "The Great" Christopher Walken, this movie has some hilarious one liners that will make you cry. Based on the horror movie made back in the 70's, a more humorous movie is made here about a woman who loses her job and goes to live in Stepford "the perfect society". A risk worth taking, but still falls flat.


The Day After Tomorrow **1/2 Did any one really expect this $125 million dollar disaster movie to be award winning? This movie will satisfy those who want to see the unreal happen (like Independence Day). Ronald Emmerich, who did Independence Day, directs this movie about Global Warming. In 7-10 days the Earth will be at its next Ice Age. Dennis Quaid plays a Climatologist who discovers this activity. His son (Jake Gyllenhal) is in NY for a class trip. When suddenly massive waves and tornadoes rip through the entire United States. The best scene in this entire movie is the tornadoes ripping through Los Angeles. This 10 minute long scene was one of the most eye popping, jaw dropping action sequence I have scene this year.


Shrek 2 ***1/2 Stars
Picking up right where they left off, Shrek and Fiona are one their honeymoon and they come back feeling great...until they are invited to Far Far Away, Fiona’s real home with the king and queen. So her, Shrek, and Donkey go and meet them. When things do not go to plan, Shrek does everything he can to make Fiona happy. The best character in the movie is Puss n' boots (Antonio Bandaras). He is smart, funny, adorable, and adventurous. Of course, Donkey (Eddie Murphy) and Shrek (Mike Myers) both give some effort to this hilarious sequel. Though it does not have the caliber of the first film, Shrek 2 definitely deserves an Oscar nomination for Best Animated Feature.


TROY *** Stars
WOLFGANG PETERSEN'S 200 MILLION DOLLAR EPIC
At 200 million dollars, Troy is the most expensive movie of the year. The artistic battle sequences of thousands of Greeks and Trojans is jaw-dropping The famous story stars Brad Pitt as Achilles who leads the Greeks into battle to rescue Helen (played by Diane Krueger) from her love Paris (played by Orlando Bloom). Eric Bana, coming off a low point in his career (The Hulk), gives the movies greatest performance as Hector, Paris's older brother who should eventually come the King of Troy. As for the special effects, Petersen's view of the battle scenes are quite valiant and it indeed does capture the true horror of watching 50,000 men running at you with full force with a sword aimed at your head. But the scene between Achilles and Hector shows the true emotion of war. Those who have read the Iliad will disagree with accuracy towards the book. But it does keep you on the edge of your seat during the 163-minute feature (THUMBS UP)


VAN HELSING ENDS UP WITH A MEDIOCRE FINISH *1/2 X-Men star Hugh Jackman stars as Dr. Van Helsing who is trained to kill all evil creatures. Kate Beckinsale stars as the girl who wants to kill Dracula. All I can say about this movie is that it will never be remembered as a brilliant movie, but as a movie that will leave you with a frown on your face. It will be forgotten if the Box Office doesn't help them out. (THUMBS DOWN)


Godsend- 1/2 stars (D-)-This movie does not even deserve a review. Although the first 20 minutes of the movie had a chance to excel, it started to lack everything about a psychological thriller. Robert De Niro, Greg Kinnear, and Rebecca Romijn Stamos have made the worse career moves of their lives. A young boy is killed, and the parents (Kinnear, Stamos) deiced to clone them from a doctor (De Niro). There is no emotion or terror in this terrible film directed by Nick Hamm. (THUMBS DOWN)

The Punisher- *** Stars

Starring: Thomas Jane, John Travolta

Directed by: Jonathan Hensleigh

FBI undercover agent, Frank Castle (Thomas Jane) is a former Special Forces member who is finally moving into a safe desk job, to the delight of his wife and son. But when his family is executed after witnessing a mafia hit, Castle dons a black battle suit, arms himself with a ton of guns, and seeks swift revenge. Yes, it is another revenge movie, but Hensleigh adds more emotion then most revenge films in recent years. Jane and Travolta both give surprisingly solid performances.


KILL BILL VOLUME 2- ****(A) Uma Thurman, David Carradine, and Quentin Tarantino are glorious beyond what this world can afford. The Bride is back for revenge and she is kicking ass like you have never seen her before. She takes on Daryl Hannah as Elle Driver, Michael Madsen as Budd, and Carradine as the ever-betraying Bill. This is the most fun I've had at the movies in years.


The Alamo- ***1/2 Billy Bob Thornton deserves an Oscar Nod for his acting skills as Davy Crockett in this film about the fall of the Alamo in 1837. This is one of the best movies of the year so far.


Walking Tall-*1/2 After coming out of his first successful movie, THE RUNDOWN, The Rock (Dwayne Johnson) is back in a new action drama about Chris Vaughn (AKA Buford Pusser) who is back from war and ready to start over a life he once had. But when a casino starts to cause trouble with drugs and leaving him for dead because of a riot he was in that night, he runs for sheriff and wants to make things right. I did not like The Rock as a wrestler or even that much as The Scorpion King. I thought he was superb in The Rundown. I am very excited to see him as an actor, but still there is no reason for this kind of inepitude.

Hellboy-2/4-
The Ladykillers-3/4
Dawn of the Dead-3/4
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind-3.5/4-

Secret Window-3/4-
Hidalgo-2/4-.
Starsky and Hutch-3/4
The Passion of the Christ-3.5/4
Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights-0/4
Eurotrip-3/4-
Cold Mountain-3/4-

Welcome to Mooseport-2/4

Jersey Girl-3/4-

50 First Dates-3/4-

Miracle-3/4-
Lost in Translation-4/4
Big Fish-3.5/4
The Butterfly Effect-2.5/4-

Along Came Polly-2.5/4- .

Chasing Liberty-2/4-

Paycheck-2/4-

Cheaper by the Dozen-3/4-

Something's Gotta Give-3/4-
The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King*- 4/4-
Stuck on You- 3/4
The Last Samurai- 4/4
Timeline-0/4
Mystic River- 3/4
Matrix Revolution- 2/4

ELF- 3/4
The Missing-2/4
Bad Santa- 3/4
Gothika- 2/4
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World-3/4
Scary Movie 3- 2.5/4
Runaway Jury- 3/4
Kill Bill Volume One-4/4
School of Rock- 4/4
Out of Time- 2.5/4
Underworld- 3/4
The Rundown- 3.5/4
Matchstick Men-4/4
The Fighting Temptation-2/4
Anything Else- 3/4
Once Upon a Time in Mexico- 3/4
Dickie Roberts- 2/4
Freddy vs. Jason-.5/4
Freaky Friday- 3/4
American Wedding-3/4
Open Range-3.5/4
S.W.A.T- 2.5/4
Lara Croft Tomb Raider-The Cradle of Life- 1.5/4
Bad Boys II-2/4
Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl- 3.5/4
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines- 3.5/4
Charlie's Angels Full Throttle- 2/4
Finding Nemo- 4/4
The Hulk- 2.5/4
Hollywood Homicide- 3/4
Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd- 1.5/4
2 Fast 2 Furious- 1/4
The Italian Job- 3/4
Bruce Almighty- 3/4
The Matrix Reloaded- 3/4
Daddy Day Care- 2/4
X2 Xmen United- 3/4
The Ghost of the Abyss- 3/4
Identity- 3/4
Holes- 3/4
Chicago- 3/4
Bringing Down the House- 2.5/4
The Hunted-2/4
The Core- 2/4
A Man Apart- 1.5/4
Basic- 2/4
Old School- 3/4
Tears of the Sun-2/4
Catch me if you Can- 3.5/4
Shanghai Knights- 2.5/4
Daredevil- 2/4
Just Married- 2/4

2002:
We Were Soldiers-4/4
Solaris-2/4
The Sum of all Fears-3/4
Orange County-3/4
8 Mile-3.5/4
Drumline-2.5/4
25th Hour-4/4
Lord of the Rings The Two Towers- 4/4
Die Another Day-3/4
I Spy- 2/4
Santa Claus 2- 2/4
The Transporter- 2/4
Red Dragon- 3/4
The Tuxedo-1/4
Swimfan-0/4
XXX-1/4
Signs- 4/4
Austin Powers in Goldmember- 2/4
Road to Perdition- 4/4
Mr. Deeds- 2.5/4
Men in Black II- 2.5/4
Minority Report- 4/4
Spiderman- 3.5/4
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones- 2/4
The Scorpion King- 2/4
Resident evil- 1/4
Big Fat Liar- 2.5/4
The Bourne Identity- 3.5/4
Unfaithful- 3/4
Showtime-2/4
Kung Pow: Enter the Fist- 1/4
Insomnia- 4/4

2001:
Tomcats-1.5/4
American Pie 2-3/4
The Royal Tenenbaums-3/4
Behind Enemy Lines-3/4
Black Hawk Down- 4/4
Lord of the Rings The Fellowship of the Ring- 4/4
The Others- 2/4
Shallow Hal- 2.5/4
Corky Romano- 1/4
Scary Movie 2-2.5/4
3000 Miles to Graceland-2.5/4
From Hell- 3/4Training Day- 4/4
40 Days and 40 Nights- 3/4
The Sweetest Thing-2.5/4
Rollerball- .5/4
Don't Say a Word- 2/4
Spy Kids- 1.5/4
Hardball- 2/4
A Beautiful Mind-4/4
Rush Hour 2- 3/4
Monster's Ball- 3/4

2000:
Traffic- 3.5/4
Thirteen Days- 4/4
Finding Forrester- 3/4
Requiem for a Dream- 3.5/4
Dr. Seuss’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas- 2.5/4
What Women Want- 3/4
Memento- 4/4
Dude, Where's my Car- 2/4
Bring it On- 2/4
Little Nicky-2/4
Gladiator-4/4
The Perfect Storm-3/4
High Fidelity-4/4
Me, Myself, and Irene-3/4
Mission Impossible 2 -3/4
Space Cowboys-3/4
Bedazzled-3/4
Scary Movie- 3/4
Cast Away- 4/4
U-571- 3/4
Vertical Limit- 2.5/4
Rules of Engagement-3/4
1999:

American Beauty-4/4
American Pie-3.5/4
The Green Mile-4/4
For Love of The Game-3/4
Three Kings-3/4
Toy Story 2- 3.5/4
Galaxy Quest- 3.5/4
The World is not Enough- 3/4
Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace- 3/4
Austin Powers: The Spy who Shagged Me- 3/4
October Sky- 3.5/4
Entrapment- 3/4

1998:
Rush Hour- 3/4
Shakespeare in Love- 3/4
Elizabeth- 3/4
Saving Private Ryan- 4/4
The Thin Red Line- 2.5/4
You’ve Got Mail- 3/4
The Truman Show- 3/4

1990-1997:
Titanic- 4/4
The Rock- 3/4
Dumb and Dumber- 3.5/4
The Silence of the Lambs- 4/4
Pie-3.5/4
Air Force One-3.5/4
Apollo 13-4/4
Forrest Gump- 4/4
A Few Good Men- 4/4
Dances with Wolves-3.5/4
Unforgiven- 4/4
Toy Story-4/4
The Game-3/4
A Bronx Tale- 3.5/4
That Thing you Do- 3/4
Mission Impossible- 3/4
A League of their Own- 3/4
Clueless- 2.5/4
Renaissance Man- 3/4
Groundhog Day- 4/4
Back to the Future III- 3/4
Judge Dredd- 2/4
Demolition Man- 2.5/4
The Mask- 3/4
Robin Hood Men in Tights- 2.5/4

The 1980's:

Ferris Bueller's Day Off-3.5/4
Scrooged- 3.5/4
Stripes- 3.5/4
Rain Man- 3.5/4
Back to the Future- 4/4
Back to the Future II-3.5/4 Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade- 4/4
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom- 3.5/4
Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark- 4/4
The 1970's:
The Godfather- 4/4
The Godfather Part II- 4/4

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