Shrek the Third

** Stars

What the hell happened?

What happened to the brilliance that made the Oscar-winning original and strong sequel so original? What happened to the story that was driven on dialogue and not on vomit jokes?

There is no reason for Shrek the Third to be made except to say it has the biggest opening ever for an animated film and the 3rd of all time (at around $122 Million). All the gags are recylced for trashy animated films we would expect from films like Happily Never After or The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2. The Shrek franchise went from true orginality to the epidemy of an overcooked sewage rat.

King Harold, Fiona's father, has suddenly croaked and Shrek (voicing inspired by Mike Myers) is quickly fitted for the crown. Now, unless the reluctant would-be king can find a suitable replacement, he'll take over. As if Shrek didn't have enough on his plate, Princess Fiona is pregnant (imagine that image). With his head spinning and his belly in knots, Shrek sets off on a quest to find the only other possible heir to the throne, Fiona's long-lost cousin Artie, an underachieving medieval high schooler. While the ogre is away, his old nemesis Prince Charming rears his handsome head and returns to the kingdom of Far Far Away to prove once again he is the rightful aire to the throne...

Yawn.

Even Donkey (Eddie Murphy), one of the most energentic animated characters in history seems to just sit around next to Puss N' Boots (Antonio Banderas) and both make pointless wise cracking remarks. Why not explore more of Puss N' Boots history or bring back some old characters, because they may have saved this movie from being the sappiest thing since an episode of Maury.

Why is this summer starting off as a dissapointment? Jack Sparrow, you are our last hope.

28 Weeks Later

*** Stars

28 Weeks Later is one of those rare sequels that just tops its already successful predecessor. 28 Days Later was a great zombie flick, but the sequel gets scarier and more political, which in a way is the same thing.

Six months have passed since the rage virus has annihilated the British Isles. The U.S. Army declares that the war against infection has been won, and that the reconstruction of the country can begin. As the first wave of refugees return, a family is reunited--but one of them unwittingly carries a terrible secret. The virus is not yet dead, and this time, showing no outward symptoms, it is more dangerous than ever.

Props to creator Danny Boyle and the rest of the team to make the story more political. In a world where we are at war, what better way to scare the hell out of an audience then to create a war that is literally uncontrollable?

Spiderman 3

*1/2 Stars

Well, it could have been worse...


Right?


Sadly, what was expected to be the strongest chapter in one of the most successful comic book adaptations in history fails to be The Return of the King and ends up more like The Matrix Revolutions.

Now don't worry, it isn't as bad as The third Matrix film, but it certainly does not live up to its hype. Spiderman 2 was the greatest comic book film of all time, so it obviously would have been hard to top number 2, but that's no excuse for this outcome.

The film starts out strong. The very beginning we see him at a play starring M.J, so it is clear that Peter Parker has finally managed to strike a balance between his devotion to M.J. and his duties as a superhero. From there, Harry Osbourne, son of the late Norman Osbourne, strikes Peter for killing his father. After this, things start to fall flat.

Parker begins to discover that a mysterious black substance has turned his suit black, and has brought forth a darker side of Parker and Spidey nobody has seen before. Peter begins to give into this new dark personality and starts to abandon the ones he loves the most. Quickly Parker begins a new romance with his lab partner, the beautiful Gwen Stacy (Bryce Dallas Howard).

A new villain appears. Flint Marko (an inspired Thomas Haden Church), a criminal fleeing prison, is caught in an accident that displaces molecules and is transformed into the Sandman, a new super villain who is able to change his body into any shape of sand he sees fit. When Peter learns of a connection between The Sandman and the murder of his Uncle Ben, he will stop at nothing as Spider-Man to capture him. Spiderman's suit suddenly changes, turning jet-black and enhancing his powers. It transforms Peter as well, bringing out the dark, vengeful side of his personality that he is struggling to control. Under the influence of the suit, Peter becomes overconfident and starts to neglect the people who care for him most. Another photographer, Eddie Brock begins to overshadow Parker at the Daily Bugle. With this dark suit, Parker feels threatened and is unable to control the suit's hatred powers. Forced to choose between the seductive power of the new suit and the compassionate hero he used to be, Peter must overcome his personal demons with the love of his life and two new villains, Sandman and Venom (Eddie Brock).

Watching this, I saw Spiderman 3 and 4. This is a bloated, full of cliche action picture. You will not be bored with this film, but you will leave the theater with a sense of disappointment. If there were less villains and less trying to be funny moments, (along with Parker dancing for what feels like 2 hours with another girl to make M.J jealous), this could have been the Spiderman we were yearning for.

The Lookout

Before I begin this review, I would like to say that this year has been great for movies so far. Usually I only give about 10-15 movies four stars in the whole year. It has been only four months in and usually all those four star reviews come around Oscar season. I already have three. This will be my fourth.

**** Stars

Now if someone told me that one day that kid in the old Disney movie Angels in the Outfield would be a terrific actor one day, I may have slapped you silly. I now deserve a slap myself. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is ready to start his true acting career off with a huge bang of a movie. This is great stuff.

Scott Frank gives a brilliant directorial debut after writing such classics as Out of Sight, Minority Report, and Get Shorty. This script, which he also wrote, has no cliche's that would make you want to role your eyes. This thriller won't give you one dull moment. Chris (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), a once promising high school athlete, has his life turned upside down after a tragic accident. As he tries to maintain a normal life, he takes a job as a janitor at a bank where he ultimately finds himself caught up in a planned heist.

The story really isn't about the bank heist. It is about how a young man with a very serious head injury would act under the conditions. You seem him make mistakes and you see him collapse. He is not going to be a hero who is protected by a heroic shield. Chris goes to a bar every day drinks an O'Douls while writing down how to get through the day. He cannot open a bucket of tomato sauce because his left hand is sometimes dysfunctional. He has a blindroommate, played wonderfully by Jeff Daniels. Both of these characters look real and feel real. This movie is the real deal.

Grindhouse

Planet Terror: **** Stars
Death Proof: **** Stars

I am not going to ramble on about the great scenes in this flick. There are too many. All you need to know is that it is one of the funnest times at the movies in a long time. Both Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino totally knock it out of the park.

Everyone in the world should know by now what Grindhouse means. Grindhouse is presented as one full-length feature comprised of two individual films helmed separately by each director. Tarantino's film, "Death Proof," is a rip-roaring slasher flick where the killer pursues his victims with a car rather than a knife, while Rodriguez's film explores an alien world eerily familiar to ours in "Planet Terror." And in between flicks, friends of the directors, including Eli Roth and Rob Zombie create some of the funniest fake trailers in movie history.

I will say no more. Just go out to the Grindhouse, and have a hell of a time.

Blades of Glory

*** Stars

Will Ferrell has mastered the art of ridiculous comedy, where he makes a statement that you just cannot help but laugh. "I see you look like a 15-year old only not hot." Ferrell makes this movie easily watchable with a premise that probably was shot down numerous times during negotiations.

In 2002, two rival Olympic ice skaters (Badass Will Ferrell and darling Jon Heder) were stripped of their gold medals and permanently banned from men's single competition. Presently, however, they've found a loophole that will allow them to qualify as a pairs team.

Like Talledega Nights, Farrell has mastered another secondary sports movie. Heder hides his Napoleon Dynamite persona and hold his own with Ferrell on screen. This is a surprisingly successful stoner movie. This is the kind of movie that reminds us why Ferrell became a star in the first place.

Shooter

** Stars

Shooter tries to disguise itself as a top notch political thriller, but falls into a formula that is so predictable, that even Mark Wahlberg cannot save.

Now, if I had to make a list of the most badass things in the world, it would be Marky-Mark as a tactical sniper, popping people from more than a mile away. Wahlberg manages to bring out his bold charisma in this film and shows why he became a movie star. But as a movie, Shooter tries to combine The Fugitive with Fox's 24 and ultimately falls flat.

Bob Lee Swagger (Mark Wahlberg), a former Marine Corps sniper who leaves the military after a mission goes bad. After he is reluctantly pressed back into service, Swagger is double-crossed again. With two bullets in him and the subject of a nationwide manhunt, Swagger begins his revenge, which will take down the most powerful people in the country, including Colonel Isaac Johnson played by Danny Glover.

Danny Glover?

Yes, the most nortorious villain in this thriller is Danny Glover, who brings the reputation of villains to borderline mental-retardation.

Now if this movie had accepted itself as a corny, yet gritty action movie, with Wahlberg leading the show, we could have seen the next Rambo. But instead, Shooter tries to justify itself as a message movie. The message is that there may be crooked-politicans in Washington. As Danny Glover in this movie would say, Really?

Reign Over Me

*** Stars

What you could call as the third motion picture of September 11th, Reign Over Me is a movie that is hard to hate. It rises above a cliched melodrama thanks to two strong performances from Don Cheadle and Adam Sandler, in which is the best performance of his career.

Charlie Fineman (Sandler) and Alan Johnson (Cheadle) were college roommates several years ago. After Charlie Fineman loses his family five years prior on 9/11, the two reunite. Charlie, once a successful dentist, has retreated from his life, and Alan is stunned to see the changes in his formerly gregarious friend. At the same time, Alan (still a successful dentist), who should be enjoying his beautiful wife, children and career, is overwhelmed by his responsibilities. Their rekindled relationship becomes a lifeline for the two men, who are both in need of a trusted friend at this pivotal moment in their lives.

This a great movie to see with your best friend. This is a story about male friendships and how males deal with loss, careers, and families. What Charlie goes through in this film is a monumental psychological breakdown. Adding the layer that Charlie lost his family in 9/11 makes it more emotional and personal to the viewer. This is a film that should be watched during psychology class. In a scene between Alan and his wife Janeane (Jada Pinkett-Smith), Janeane thinks Alan is actually jealous of Charlie, and how he can do anything he wants and does not have to deal with family issues. Alan begins to realize that he does not open up enough to his wife.

Director Mike Binder (The Upside of Anger) has a lot of talent here. About two-thirds of this film is exceptional. The other third seems too familiar (there is romance for Charlie near the end) and choppy. I recommend this film to those who want to see some truly great acting (mega-props to Sandler and Cheadle) and how friendship can truly save a life.

300

**** Stars

300 is a groundbreaking vision of cinematic filmmaking. It is a full testosterone rush that will literally blow your mind. This is the best movie of the year so far.

Based on Frank Miller's graphic novel, 300 is loosely based on the 480 B.C. Battle of Thermopylae, where King Leonidas of Sparta (played with unyielding force by Gerald Butler) led his army of 300 men against Xerxes and his massive Persian army. Facing insurmountable odds, their valor and sacrifice inspire all of Greece to unite against their Persian enemy, drawing a line in the sand for democracy.

The story is clearly not historically accurate, and that is the point. 300 packs all the myths and legends into one, creating a mix of Gladiator and The Lord of the Rings only pumped with excess forces of steroids. Like Sin City, Frank Miller's comic book adaptation to film with 300 is everything a movie should be.

The Number 23

** Stars

Jim Carrey looks like he thought real hard (maybe about 23 times) and decided to finally agree to this choppy and not-as-smart-as-it-thinks-it-is throwaway movie. Carrey (in a mildly solid, yet completely forgettable performance) plays Walter Sparrow who becomes obsessed with a book that appears to be based on his life but ends with a murder that has yet to happen in real life. Screenplay writer Fernley Phillips seems to know wonders of the number 23, but who cares? These connections are completely farfetched.

Ok, so the year is 2007. 2+0+0+7=9. Ok so 14 is my birthdate in the month of September. September is the ninth month. 9+14=23. See, I can do this too.

Zodiac

***1/2 Stars

Zodiac is David Fincher's (Panic Room, Seven) first film since 2002. Simply said, it was worth the wait.

An all star cast shines in this ultra gritty thriller that, like last month's Breach, deserves to be released towards the later half of 2007 so it won't be snubbed out of next years Oscar race. The cast includes Jake Gyllenhaal, Mark Ruffalo, Anthony Edwards, and a fabulous Robert Downey Jr., who gives his all as a confident, yet incoherent journalist named Paul Avery, who unevenly guides Robert Graysmith (Gyllenhaal) into the world of the infamous Zodiac Killer.

A serial killer (nicknamed himself The Zodiac) in the San Francisco Bay Area taunts police with his letters and cryptic messages. We follow the investigators and reporters in this lightly fictionalized account of the true 1970's case as they search for the murderer, becoming obsessed with the case. Based on Robert Graysmith's book, the movie's focus is the lives and careers of Graysmith, the detectives, and newspaper people.

Not only is this a great suspense film, but also a fascinating study of journalism, and how the media can impact a series of crimes. In this case, we never truly know for sure who the Zodiac killer really was, so through this you may find the ending unsatisfying. But I guarantee you, that after this film you will drive and/or walk very quickly and lock your door the minute you get home.

Reno 911: Miami

* Star

Why did I enter this film with somewhat high expectations? Am I that blind? What the hell is wrong with me?

This 84-minute grotesque bundle of lard is a jaw-droppingly, brain-fryingly unfunny load from comedic hell. Public Relations managed to drop all the good gags in the trailer, therefore offering no reason to see the film iteself. The officers of the Reno police department visit a national police convention in Miami Beach. When the convention center is bio-attacked, it's up to Reno's "finest" to save the day.

I think after this movie, I would have gladly gone to see Norbit. Ok, I'm kidding...


But not really.

Ghost Rider and Breach: Exact Opposites

** Stars
Ghost Rider is a bloated $120 million film that is so cheesy, you won't be checking your watch, you'll just sigh about forty-six times. Nicholas Cage and the cast have a lot of fun, but this is definitely a cliched comic book adaptation that turns ugly the minute Ghost Rider appears.


***1/2 Stars
Breach deserves to be released in the later half of 2007 so Chris Cooper will be remembered for his brilliant portrayal of Robert Hanssen who has been selling American secrets to the Soviet Union for years. Eric O'Neill (Ryan Phillippe) is promoted to the job that will stage Hanssen's inevitable downfall. You do not want to miss this one.

Smokin' Aces

**1/2 Stars

First off, this is a blueprint of Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs. Director Joe Carnahan even uses the same conversations. In the opening sequence, two men are scoping out a criminal, and talking about fast food. Eerie, isn't it?

Mob boss Primo Sparazza has taken out a hefty contract on Buddy "Aces" Israel (a scene stealing Jeremy Piven, who is raising his already Ari Gold character from Entourage to new heights) a sleazy magician who has agreed to turn state's evidence against the Vegas mob. The FBI, sensing a chance to use this small-time con to bring down big-target Sparazza, places Aces into protective custody-under the supervision of two agents dispatched to Isreal's Lake Tahoe hideout. When word of the price on his body spreads into the community of ex-cons and cons-to-be, it entices bounty hunters, thugs-for-hire, deadly vixens and double-crossing mobsters to join in the hunt. With all eyes on Tahoe, the film collides in a comic race to hit the jackpot and rub out a drugged up snitch

Smokin' Aces does have a great ensemble cast including Jeremy Piven, Ben Affleck, Ray Liotta, Ryan Reynolds, Any Garcia, and Alicia Keys. It has a cultivated sense of style, and the ride to the end can be a lot of fun. But it forgets why it exists when it becomes way too offensive. I am still debating an awful scene in this movie. How can a nine year old boy sprout an eight inch erection while pretending to num-chuck a helpless man on his knees missing three fingers on his hand from a brutal and potentially deadly gunshot wound? I wonder how in the world the parents of this child actor agreed to this scene. A strong payoff seems like the right scenario.

Notes on a Scandal

**** Stars

Explosive. Mesmerizing. Brilliant. There are few words that can sum up the sheer veracity of Judi Dench's portrayal of a shattered, obsessed loner aching for the world to recognize her. Adding to her steam is Cate Blanchett who never misses a beat as a young art teacher in the scandal of her life, and Bill Nighy playing the art teacher's husband in an underrated and wonderfully over-the-top performance. Notes on a Scandal takes you in and never loses you. I am ashamed to say I have never read the 2003 novel by Zoe Heller.

Here's the scoop: Blanchett plays Sheba Hart, a beautiful new art teacher at London's St. George School. Sheba feels her life is a dud, having a bland marriage with her older husband (Nighy) and struggling to raise her son with Down syndrome. So she decides to spice up her life and bang a fifteen year old student on the side. Barbara Covett (Dench) a lesbian teacher, catches her in the act and agrees not to make a scandal if Sheba will become her friend. Behold the power of Barbara.....and Dame Judi Dench.

If Dench hadn't been nominated so much lately, this would be her year. But instead, Helen Mirren in The Queen will take home the prize. Not to take away from Mirren, but Judi Dench, at age 72, takes the riskiest role of her career and creates a woman with unhinged and self-absorbed passions.

Letters From Iwo Jima

**** Stars

The Oscar race has a serious contender with Letters from Iwo Jima, the final film of Clint Eastwood's Iwo Jima saga. This is an extraordinary vision of war, with Eastwood's strongest directorial film of his career.

From first time screenwriter Iris Yamashita, Eastwood's digs deep into Japanese culture, starting with Lt. Gen. Tadamichi (the absolutely magnificent Ken Watanabe), who once was an envoy to the U.S., is now the commander of the troops on Iwo Jima, struggling to survive a tough enemy on the lonely island of Japan. Through the eyes of Tadamichi and a few other Japanese soldiers, Letters shows there is more to war than the battle itself.

Letters from Iwo Jima is on the level of Saving Private Ryan as one of the greatest war films to ever hit the screen. It is stronger than Flags of our Fathers and shot with a poetic sense of battle and of bruised beauty. Clint Eastwood is a master storyteller, telling us that war is a confused sense of mind. At the time American's were raised to believe that Japan was a corrupt nation. The Japanese were raised to believe that the United States was made up of cowards. But in reality, both sides are the same person, both sides want the same thing, and no one is able to speak it. This is a masterpiece, adding further proof that Eastwood, almost in his eighties, is a man of unspeakable knowledge and soulful power.

The Last King of Scotland

*** Stars

Forest Whitaker ignites the screen with his gripping portrayal of Ugandan dictator Idi Amin. On the outside, Idi is a gentleman, charming when he has to be and strong when the crowd needs him. But behind the scenes he is a murderer of genocidal proportions. Whitaker gives the best performance of his career. Based on the novel by Giles Foden, the film focuses on fictional character Nicholas Garrigan (James McAvoy), a young Scottish doctor who becomes Amin's personal MD in 1971. What weakens Last King is director Kevin Macdonald's over focus on Garrigan's life story rather than Amin's. Rather seeing this through the eyes of Garrigan, Amin should be center stage. Unfortunately, he is almost reduced to a supporting actor. Still, this is a gripping tale of one man's downfall thanks to an explosive Forest Whitaker, who deserves an Oscar nomination. But sadly, under which category?

Pan's Labyrinth

**** Stars

Pan's Labyrinth is unlike anything you've ever seen. It is beautiful, heartbreaking, poetic, and wildly original. Set in 1940's Spain against the postwar repression of Franco's Spain, this is a fairy tale that centers on Ofelia (Ivana Baquero), a lonely and dreamy child living with her mother and adoptive father, who is a military officer forced to kill any innocent rebel that enters his land. In her loneliness, Ofelia creates a world filled with fantastical creatures and secret destinies. With Fascism at its height, Ofelia must come to terms with her world through a fable of her own creation. This works not only as a fantasy, but as a postwar drama. This is an astonishing feat in imaginative filmmaking.

Children of Men

**** Stars

What has become of us?

In Children of Men, society has become so greedy for control when the world is nearing its extinction. Instead of enjoying the last years with family and friends, people feel they must do what they can to see who has the most power before their time on earth ends. It is a sick and disturbing vision because this scenario could very well become reality.

Set in a futuristic setting, women are infertile, humans have lost all hope, and England has descended into chaos. One man, Theodore Faron (played by the fantastic Clive Owen) is sucked into the greatest adventure of his life. Theo begins to discover through the help of his ex-wife Julian (Julianne Moore), that there is a young woman who is pregnant, named Kee, with what would be the first child birth in twenty-seven years. With England under continuous Marshall Law, Theo must use the help of friends and strangers, including his pot smoking friend Jasper (Michael Caine) to make sure that this child is the miracle the world has been looking for.

Director Alfonso Cuaron has created a fast paced and brutally gripping tale of courage and determination. He builds the suspense with such brilliance that it ads wonders to brilliant acting and an enthralling told story. In one particular camera shot, Theo is running desperately past gunfire to find Kee ahead of him. This one shot, covered in blood and dirt follows Theo for more than a minute without changing frame. You feel his determination. You feel the violence. It has the same flavor that Saving Private Ryan had for World War II. People are going to die. There is no stopping this. What a thought provoking and spellbinding film this is.

The Holiday

-(Picture to Left) Kate Winslet and Jack Black are a perfect match in Nancy Meyer's The Holiday

*** Stars

This is a textbook chick flick film. In the beginning, the characters are lost with love and miserable. And through the film they see what's important in their lives and have that sudden epiphany. Nancy Meyers creates a very predictable and very corny love story. However, like Rocky Balboa, it is one of the few pleasant surprises of the holiday season.

In England, Iris (Kate Winslet) is in love with a man who is about to marry another woman. Across the globe, Amanda (Cameron Diaz) realizes the man she lives with has been cheating on her. So the two women who have never met and live 6000 miles apart, find themselves in the exact same situation. They somehow meet online at a home exchange website and impulsively switch homes for the holiday. Now any normal person would find this creepy as hell, but somehow it makes sense. Iris moves into Amanda's L.A. house in sunny California as Amanda arrives in the snow covered English countryside. Both these homes and both these women are ridiculously beautiful and are only found in the movies. Shortly after arriving at their destinations, both women are clichéd into finding two men who seem so perfect for one another, that it is borderline insulting to the rest of us ordinary people. Amanda is charmed by Iris's brother Graham (Jude Law) and Iris, with inspiration provided by a legendary screenwriter named Arthur, finds a film composer named Miles (Jack Black). The story journeys back and forth between the two women's lives and they discover that maybe it is time to be impulsive and take a chance.

The cast is great here. Cameron Diaz and Jude Law work well together, but Kate Winslet and Jack Black steal the show. Their chemistry is dynamite. It felt the two should be together in real life. Forgive and forget the Nancy Meyer clichés (like we see in her other films with What Women Want and Something's Gotta Give) with the cheesy lines and recycled romantic comedy ideas, and you will forget that the film is two hours and fifteen minutes long and enjoy this nice Christmas treat.